The Teachings Of Miss Serket
by pendaly
Summary: Miss Vriska Serket is well-renowned amongst the staff of Hussie Academy. During her time teaching she takes a few students under her wing for special treatment. When John is chosen to be part of this group he learns things about her and his classmates he would prefer not to know and turmoil ensues. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hi, this is my first fic ever so I'm very excited. I don't know how often I will be updating considering school will be starting again soon, but I will try to be fairly consistent. Anyways, please enjoy and let me know if there is anything I could improve on. I'm always looking for tips on writing. :)**

My name is John Egbert and this is the story of the time in my life in which I attended Hussie Boarding School for Boys, though many female teachers taught there as well. I was under the tutelage of Doc Scratch during my later years at the school, though he won't become important until later in my tale. The teacher responsible for my telling this story was a very complicated and manipulative woman by the name of Miss Vriska Serket, and she changed my life forever.

The first day I walked into that school, I was eleven. Hussie Academy was unique in many ways other than being an all-boy school, it was a six through twelve school that operated somewhat like an elementary school as far as schedules go, except that you would remain under the same teacher from sixth through eighth grade and then another from ninth until twelfth. We still had other teachers who might pop in to teach in a subject that our primary teacher was not particularly gifted in, however that tended to be a rare occurrence other than for the sake of the arts. I honestly have no idea how they managed the system at the school, it seemed rather odd to say the least. Well, when I walked into that classroom the first thing I noticed was that the desks were all strewn about the room in an incredibly disorganized fashion, the second thing I noticed was the teacher.

She wore glasses with one lens blacked out her skin was incredibly white and had black hair to compliment it. She looked as though she were in her mid to late twenties maybe, but she could easily pass off as a student. Her face appeared to be frozen in a constant smirk.

"Please choose a desk and sit down," She said.

I obliged eagerly. Her voice had a certain musicality to it that made it simply beautiful to listen to. As more kids started to trickle into the classroom I noted that none of them really disobeyed her in the least. Her voice was simply enticing. She never once had to tell us to pay attention because, despite the classroom being filled to the brim with otherwise rambunctious preteen boys, no one ever said anything out of turn.

"Boys, welcome to your first year here at Hussie Academy. I'm Miss Serket but you can all call me Vriska if you really want. Honestly I don't give a rat's ass what you call me. You probably know by now that I'll be your teacher for the next three years so you all better get used to me or you're going to have one hell of a middle school experience. I don't believe in censoring my language as I'm sure that words at least as bad as mine escape your lips and reach your ears on a day to day basis no matter whether I choose to cuss like a drunken sailor or not."

I exchanged glances with the blonde sitting next to me; he just shrugged at me and adjusted his sunglasses as we returned to listening to Miss Serket's welcome speech.

"You may use what our headmistress, Miss Megido, deems inappropriate language in class so long as it does not actually interrupt a lesson. You can really do anything you want just so long as it does not inhibit the learning experience. I really don't give a fuck about your behavior. All that matters to me is that you do the work in whatever way works best for you, besides cheating that is. I do not support cheating in my class. You cheat and I will kick your ass into the next galaxy. And I do not say that figuratively. You may use technology in this class during work time. Again, I do not give a fuck about what you do so long as you don't cheat or disrupt class."

A hand shot up behind me. It was a little guy in a wheelchair with a sort of fluffy Mohawk.

"Yes Tavros?"

"What is considered disruptive?"

"If you talk while I'm talking or another student is talking or physically keeping another classmate from doing their work. As I was saying, you may use technology during class as long as you manage to get your work done and don't cheat."

She went on and on for another hour, but really none of us seemed to mind. Her voice was enrapturing and it was impossible not to listen to it. She tended to wander the room as she talked, walking up and down the scattered desks with great fluidity. When she finally finished her welcome speech, which I found out later was not, in fact, rehearsed, she handed out books and went on another long speech. This time she talked about history and told us we may take notes if we wished. Half the class, me included, pulled out a notebook and pen or pencil and scribbled furiously as she lectured the class on the French revolution. I never actually looked at my notes again as I retained every word she said. When the lunch period began the classroom emptied and I wandered off about the school to buy lunch. I also wondered if I ought to see if I could relocate my room. I found myself sitting at a table in the cafeteria alone wondering if anyone would sit down by me.

No one approached me for quite some time. I pondered whether it might be was because I was kind of geeky looking or maybe I just looked like I wanted to be alone, or maybe it was just that no one really wanted to talk to anyone else on the first day except for maybe the roommate that they'd meet later, but I sat at that table for quite a while all by myself before some guy wearing a big black sweater over his school uniform begrudgingly sat down next to me. I recognized him from my class and debated making conversation.

Finally I settled for just saying, "Hey."

He looked at me funny for a second and replied, "Hi."

I picked at my salad a bit, "I'm John."

"Karkat," He grumbled nigh inaudibly.

"What?"

"I said my fucking name is Karkat, fuckass."

I didn't know what spoiled this guy's day but he seriously needed to lighten up, "Gosh sorry!"

He just glared at me some more and went back to picking at his own food muttering stuff like, "this food is shit" or "Can't believe I'm stuck in this fucking school for six more damn years."

I mostly ignored him, but tried to strike up conversation every once in a while, "Do you think it's weird that a girl is the head of a boys school?"

He'd just grumble and ignore me.

"So, what do you think of Miss Serket?"

Again replying with a grunt.

"What do you like to do?"

"You just don't know when to take a fucking hint and shut the fuck up, do you?"

I looked down at my hands and withdrew to a silent lunch.

As soon as I finished eating I stood up from the table and meandered towards the residence section of the school. I wandered the halls and climbed flights of stairs with my face buried in a map of the school until I finally found my room for the second time today. Room 413.

I unlocked and opened the door wondering who my roommate was. I had arrived early this morning to settle in today and left immediately, leaving me without a clue who he would be. I still had no idea when I opened the door. No one was in the small room but apparently whoever he was had a love of music because the first thing that greeted me upon entering was the sight of a pair of turntables sitting upon the desk in the far left corner of the room. Some posters also hung upon the walls though I didn't really bother to examine it thoroughly. Instead I just laid down on the bed on what I had claimed as my side of the room. The room was 40' x 40' square with beds on either side of the room, an incredibly minimalistic kitchen near the back of the space, and a little room I assumed to be the bathroom in the corner directly to the right of the door. I desperately hoped my roommate could cook because not only did I loathe cooking, but I also was simply terrible at it. I'd managed once to burn scrambled eggs while paying meticulous attention. I really didn't want to have to eat whatever the school served at dinner and called food either. I stood up from the bed and wandered back to the school section of the building. I desperately hoped I could make some friends otherwise this was going to be one long year.

I walked down the hallway wondering where people might hang out during their free time. I found myself seated at a desk in the library. There seemed to be plenty of people here, maybe if I stayed here long enough someone would sit down by me and try to make conversation. I looked around for any familiar faces. There was that sunglasses guy sitting reading a comic upside down for no apparent reason. Isn't it hard to read while wearing shades in doors let alone reading something upside down? The wheelchair boy with the Mohawk was sitting at a table with a really tall guy who wore copious amounts of white face paint. I saw the really grumpy guy with the excessive potty mouth sitting alone at another table glaring at just about everyone, what was his name? Kurt? Carrot? Something kind of weird like that. I really did not want to talk to him again. I myself did not cuss much in my younger years. I thought maybe I should try talking to the sunglasses guy. He seemed pretty cool, but that's why I didn't want to, he was cool and wouldn't want to hang out with a dork like me. I suppose you never know until you give it a shot though.

I took a deep breath and approached him.

"Hey, what're you reading?"

He looked up at me, or I think he did, I couldn't really tell behind his anime shades.

"x-men."

"Cool," I scratch my head awkwardly and say, " I'm John, John Egbert."

"Dave Strider, you're in Serket's class right?"

"Yeah, what do you think of her?"

"She seems pretty chill, I did hear though that every cycle through the school she tends to pick a few students who get out-of-class time with her and apparently they always turn out a bit differently from the rest of the class."

"Um. Out-of-class time?" I was not entirely sure that sounded completely PG.

"Whoa Egbert! I didn't peg you as someone with a dirty mind." He smirked at me covering his mouth in mock horror.

"What? No! I just mean, why?"

Dave shrugged, "I dunno. H ey, you're like the first person I've met today, wanna chill after school or something?"

"Sure!" mission accomplished, friend acquired, "what's your room number?"

"413."

"No way! You're my roommate!"

"No shit?"

"Yeah! So turntables huh?"

"You didn't touch them did you? Because if you did you will soon be a puddle of filleted internal organs on the side of the street."

I laughed and he just continued to stare at me completely seriously. That's when I realized he wasn't kidding. I pushed up my giant glasses sheepishly and replied, "No I didn't touch them."

"Good, let's keep it that way."

I nodded.

Another ten minutes passed while Dave and I chatted. I learned three main points of import from him 1. He was incredibly ironic 2. He lives with his bro when away from school and 3. He always wore his shades, except maybe while he slept and showered. Which could result in some interesting pranking opportunities.

We walked back to the classroom wondering at what Miss Serket would lecture us on this time.

Her class was exciting and impossible to ignore even if you tried. I sat in class between Dave and Karkat.

"Numbers are fascinating things and they are pretty goddamn useful. Being able to manipulate them is equally as important as the numbers themselves. 8 is a particularly interesting number. It is twice divisible by two. It is easily squared and divided. But enough about 8s, today we are working with graphs and line plots. I have some worksheets printed. Karkat, hand them out."

He stood up begrudgingly, I honestly was surprised he even did so without spending ten minutes arguing about it, and retrieved said sheets from the front desk and went about the business of handing out the papers amongst the misconstrued desks, slamming them down in a most unceremonious manner. The rest of the school day passed as one might assume, work time and homework assignments were given out. Books were checked out and papers packed up, and most of the class was out the door in no time.

"John? Tavros?"

I flinched a bit as Miss Serket said my name. That Tavros kid wheeled around as well just as he was about to leave and ran into Karkat who let out a string of incredibly creative profanities.

_Did I do something wrong?_ I wondered, _I very well may have_. I turned around, "Yes ma'am?"

I plead with my eyes for Dave to stay with me, but he just shrugged and continued out the door behind Karkat.

"You two have been very diligent in my class thus far."

"Thank you?" I replied.

"You know? It's very difficult to find students who will work their asses off like you two do nowadays."

Again I was perplexed by where she was going with this. I didn't really try all that hard that day so I had no idea why she would hold us after class.

"Uh, Well, thank you Miss Serket," Tavros seemed almost like his knees were shaking, or they would be if he had any.

"Please, you two call me Vriska."

I furrowed my brow, "But I thought you don't give a rat's ass what we call you?"

She laughed. It came as quite a shock because her laugh differed so much from her enticing voice. I swear, every time she laughed a baby died. It sounded more like shrieking than laughing. She regained her composure and said, "Well, not really, but anyhow, I noticed that you two seem to be a bit, well, ahead of the rest of the class, and I thought maybe you might appreciate some out-of-class time to find ways to challenge your big-ass brains."

"Well, I- I suppose that might be nice Miss Ser- I mean uh Vriska," Tavros replied.

I scratched the back of my head, "I don't know. I mean, I'd like to find some time to-"

"John."

I stopped talking immediately as she fixed me with a stern gaze.

"You have a whole lot of potential. I suggest that you don't let it get thrown away."

"Okay. Sure." _Wait. Did I really just agree to that? I didn't want to. I was planning on working on my piano playing in the music room after school every day._

"Perfect. I expect you two to get your asses to class about half an hour early every day. That should give us enough time to get some proper work done for non-shit-for-brains pupils."

"Uh, thanks Vriska."

Tavros and I left the room and I hurried towards the music room. I needed to play some piano to think through whatever just went down. Dave's words ran through my head _"every cycle through the school she tends to pick a few students who get out-of-class time with her and apparently they always turn out a bit differently from the rest of the class."_ I had been picked as one of those students.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I apologize if it's a little slow, honestly I'm just trying to introduce the characters I need in order to get the ball rolling. I also apologize if the characters seem a little bit OOC.**

**ICantAlwaysBeWitty: Thank you for the review I greatly appreciate it and yes, this is my first fic, though I have dabbled in writing a bit before now.**

I sat at the piano plunking out the tune to some music my friend Rose from back home had found for me. I don't really know why she even gave me this music; you needed hands with a span of ten inches or more to reach a lot of those notes. I couldn't very well reach from an F to the A in the next octave and honestly I couldn't think fast enough to shift it down what with the quick tempo to the song. I spent two hours picking apart the first four measures. Well, I suppose it did provide me with something to work towards all year. I left the room at around five thirty to head back to my dorm.

I opened the door to find Dave sitting on his bed laptop open and headphones over his ears. He seemed to glance up at me, or at least I thought he did. Gog, those shades were annoying, I could never tell what the guy was thinking or where he was looking, or if he even had eyes for that matter. Maybe he didn't. Maybe he was just _really_ good at being blind and not looking like it.

"Hey Dave," I said as I set my messenger bag down at the foot of my bed.

"Sup, Egbert," he replied, inclining his head slightly.

"What're you up to?"

"Nothing much, just some rad blog-comic sketching."

"Dude! You write comics?"

"Yup."

"No way!"

"Yes way. I do indeed write a comic-blog."

"What's it called?"

"Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff."

That sounded, honestly like the weirdest thing on the face of the planet. I felt my stomach gurgle a bit.

"Um, Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you cook?"

He turns his whole head to stare at me through his shades, "Hell. No."

I look down at my feet, "Damn."

"Why? Please tell me you're an amazing chef and we won't be forced to eat that shit the school calls food."

I look back up at him, "I have difficulties making toast. I'm afraid that either, one of us must learn to cook, or we will be forced to eat that swill."

"Dude," he looked at me completely seriously, "Who even says 'swill' nowadays?"

"I do."

"Bro. That is either the lamest thing ever or the most ironic thing I've heard out of your mouth all day."

"Um… thanks?"

I sit on my bed for a bit before fishing out my homework from my bag. This math unit was the easiest thing on the face of the planet. All we were doing was plotting points on a graph.

"Oh, hey John."

"Holy crap on a cracker! Dave Strider called me by my first name!"

"Sure. It's ironic isn't it?"

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means."

"And you just quoted The Princess Bride at me."

"And you recognized it."

"I watched it for ironic purposes."

"Uh huh."

"Anyways, that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"Fire away oh conversation-lord."

"Why'd Serket keep you after class?"

"She said something about coming in before class to- and I quote- challenge our big-ass brains."

"Tavros too?"

"Yeah man, said something about working our asses off."

"That kid didn't do shit for most of class. Just kind of sat there dicking around."

"Maybe he got the work done early?"

"Maybe, but I'm pretty sure that the papers on his desk were incomplete at the end of class."

"You may have been looking at the homework."

Dave shrugged, "I guess it doesn't really matter all that much, but hey, I guess that means you got on her good side."

"Yeah, but now I have to get up early every day."

"Shit! Everyday?"

"Yup, I didn't really want to, but for some reason I agreed and now I'll feel like a huge douche if I don't follow through."

"Well, looks like you've gotten yourself in quite the shit-coated pickle."

"Yeah."

"So… should we go get food from the cafeteria?"

"Nah, man, I'll starve myself to avoid that shit. Maybe we should head off-campus and pick up some food."

"I suppose. Maybe also a 'Cooking for Assholes' while we're at it."

"Might be a good idea. I don't know how long we'd survive off of snack food for meals. But bro, if you cook for us I will fucking love you forever."

"Dang, I was hoping you'd offer to cook and I could make some bribe about it. I loathe cooking. My dad bakes cakes non-stop. It's terrifying and repulsive."

"Dude! What is wrong with cakes? Cakes are fucking awesome."

"Not when you practically live off the things."

"Dude. Only thing that beats cake is Apple juice. Apple juice is _the shit_."

"Yeah, it is pretty good."

"What're you talking about 'pretty good' that shit is fan-fucking-tastic."

"Okay, sure."

I returned to my homework plotting point after point. I finished in less than ten minutes.

"So should we head out?" I asked Dave.

"Sure."

"Do you know if there's anything we can walk to because we can't drive."

He looks up at me, "Who says I can't drive."

"Um, the law. Dude, neither of us is old enough to drive."

"I meant that I _can_ drive, I never said I would."

"Okay, whatever. I get it, you're cool and can drive even though you're like… eleven"

"Twelve actually. I don't really know the area. Do you want me to find a map or something?"

I shrugged, "Nah, worst case scenario we wander around until we find someplace that sells food or just come back and starve."

He stood up from his bed, "Sounds good to me."

I grabbed my coat and wallet from under my bed and Dave did the same, picking up our keys as we left the room locking the door behind us. We walked down the stairs and the halls until we exited the front door and walked down the block for a while. We passed a little coffee shop and a 711 as well as a burger joint and a QFC.

"Hey, Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"Think we could survive off of sandwiches all year?"

"I guess, but one of us really should figure out how to cook."

I push up my glasses, "Would it be terrible if we asked someone else to cook for us?"

Dave stroked his non-existent beard and said, "Well, we should try and get to be friends with them first otherwise they wouldn't cook for us."

"Man I feel like a douche for even suggesting this idea."

"It would be nice though."

"Yeah, and I suppose they wouldn't have to cook all the time, we can eat sandwiches and cereal most of the time right?"

We entered the QFC.

Dave nodded, "Well who do we know that can cook?"

I shrugged picking up a grocery basket, "You're really the only person I know. I mean, I met that Karkat guy who has a mouth that would make a sailor blush during lunch briefly, and I guess I'll be spending some time with Tavros, but that's pretty much it."

"Dude, you need to meet some people."

I pulled a loaf of bread off the shelf, "I don't know. I'm not a people person."

"So? Dude, get your shit together, if you don't meet people you're not going to get anywhere in life. Besides, I bet people will love you! How can anyone not love that derpy grin?"

I sigh, "Yeah, sure. Hey, grab anything you want because otherwise we're going home with just sandwich stuff and cereal."

Dave grabbed an assortment of snacks and picked up two _huge_ bottles of apple juice.

I raised my eyebrows at him, "Two? Really?"

"Hey!" He locked eyes with me, "Don't hate on the AJ."

"Well, I'm not carrying them back."

"Ok, it's worth it anyway."

We stood in the checkout line. The total damage ended up being about forty dollars. Dave and I paid equally and started the half a mile back to the school.

When we arrived Dave placed the two bottles of apple juice down on the counter and immediately poured himself a glass.

"Dude. Don't drink it all now or it's never gonna last!"

"Why do you think I bought two huge jugs?"

I sighed and proceeded to put the rest of the groceries away.

It was only seven pm and I honestly had no idea what to do with the extra time. I fixed myself a PB&J and gobbled that down.

Maybe I ought to go try and socialize. I didn't really know anyone.

"Hey, Egderp."

"What did you just call me?"

"Egderp. Why?"

I just groaned and replied, "What do you want?"

"Want to head out? See if we can't find someone who can cook?"

"Gog, why did I suggest that?"

"Hey, maybe they could just teach one of us if it'll ease your conscience."

"Okay, where should we go? Where do people hang out in this school?"

He shrugged, "We could explore."

"Sure."

We headed out the door for the second time today and ended up in what appeared to be something like a lounge. I looked at the map. This room was labeled _commons_. I looked around. There were some computers lining the walls, some desks, armchairs, couches, and- oh my Gog there's a freaking _bean bag_. Sadly the face paint guy was sitting in it. I recognized Tavros sitting next to him. I thought maybe I ought to get to know Tavros, I'd be spending my mornings with him anyway.

Dave appears to have different ideas and is wandering towards the table where Karkat and some guy with 3-D glasses sat. I'd get to chat with Tavros later, might as well head over with Dave.

Dave plopped down in a chair across from Karkat, "Mind if I sit here?"

Karkat glowered, "You're supposed to ask before you sit, dickwad."

"Thanks."

I nervously sat down beside Dave. He inclined his head towards 3-D glasses guy, "Hey."

"Hi."

"Dave Strider."

"Sollux Captor," the other guy lisped not looking up from his laptop, on which he typed furiously.

"You're in our class right?"

"Yeah."

I sat there not knowing whether I ought to introduce myself to this Sollux guy, however Dave took over that aspect.

"This is John Egderp."

"Hey!"

"Whatever."

"It's Egbert," I corrected.

We sat in rather awkward silence for a moment or two.

I cleared my throat, "What do you guys thing of the school so far?"

"Shitty," Karkat replied immediately.

"Wish we had teachers that specialized in one subject rather than branch over everything and shit," Sollux said, again not looking up from his laptop.

"Yeah, I suppose that would be nice," I said leaning back, "But I think it'll be interesting to have the same teacher for three years."

Karkat rolled his eyes, "Why? So she can get to know us and make it fucking hell for three years rather than one if she decides she fucking hates our guts?"

"That's why you suck up to them," Dave replies casting a glance at me.

"Oh, yeah!" Karkat again rolled his eyes, I wondered if he gets dizzy what with this constant eye-rolling, "Because I'm gonna be fucking _great_ at that."

Sollux shrugged a bit, "It's worth a shot."

"I am not sucking up to the fucking teacher. If I'm lucky I can get out of this fucking hellhole of a school and to some normal shithole where I won't have to put up with the same fucking teacher for three fucking years."

I really didn't know how to respond to much of anything that came out of Karkat's lips, so instead I decided that talking to Sollux might be a good idea.

"What are you working on?"

"Coding."

"What kind of coding?"

"Just some random virus', they're kind of fun to write."

"Cool."

"Yep."

"So. Who're you rooming with?"

"This guy," He said tilting his head towards Karkat.

"Oh. That's pretty cool I suppose."

"Eh. He's alright."

Karkat's head snapped up, "Excuse me? Alright?"

"That _is_ what I said."

Now I really wished I had gone to chat with Tavros and that really tall face paint dude instead. I didn't really want to talk to Karkat, and Sollux was being pretty minimally responsive.

"So what do you guys like to do in your free time?" I asked trying to spark some sort of conversation.

"Movies are pretty great," Karkat grumbled.

"Coding."

I ignored Sollux seeing that he didn't really seem to want to be talked to.

"Oh cool! I'm a pretty big movie fan myself, what kinds of movies are you into."

Karkat muttered something.

"I'm sorry?"

He mumbled again.

"What did you say?"

"I like fucking rom coms okay!?"

"Oh, that's cool I guess. I'm more into Cage and whatnot but-"

"You've got to be shitting me!"

"What? Are you a cage fan?" I grinned

"Hell to the fucking no! That was not an excited exclamation. That was more of a 'really? _Really?'_ thing."

I slumped a little in my seat, and this conversation had such great potential.

"But- but- Con Air. How can anyone not love it?"

Dave looked at me, "Dude, you need to learn the definition of a good movie."

"But it _is_ a good movie."

All three of them at the same time yelled, "No!"

"I guess I'm outvoted."

"Yes!" Karkat said, "Yes you are. You are incredibly outvoted, you and your shitty movie are so fucking outvoted that you aren't even on the fucking ballet."

Sollux raised his eyebrows at Karkat.

I got up from the table. This was going nowhere and I would actually like to have some _real_ friends.

Dave muttered something to Karkat to which he replied, "And do I look like I give two shits or a fuck for that matter?"

Dave shrugged and got up following me, "Okay, I will admit that could have gone better."

"You think?" I snap.

I just wanted to go back to the dorm, maybe mess around on my laptop or something like that. Maybe I should chat with Rose or something. Never mind, I wanted a shower. That sounded very nice indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N So, I'm sorry this is a bit shorter than the last couple chapters and a bit late. I had a production the other night and didn't get home until past midnight and had spent fourteen hours in a sweltering theater and moving furniture for set changes and acting and all that fun stuff. So that's my reasoning behind that. (If anyone was wondering we did really quite well in my opinion.) Anywho, I don't own Homestuck! Enjoy this chapter.**

I woke up 6:30 seeing as I would have to arrive to class half an hour earlier than I had originally planned. Dave rolled over as my alarm went off. I groaned and rummaged around under my bed trying to find my phone to disable the alarm. I groped about blindly for it, realizing I probably should have grabbed my glasses before trying to find my alarm seeing as I was nearly blind without them and finally found the source of the hideous ringing. I quickly dismissed the alarm and continued to fumble around the side of my bed in search of my glasses. When I finally found them I shoved them on my face and the world came into focus. I opened the suitcase I hadn't bothered to unpack yesterday at the foot of my bed and pulled out my school uniform and began to dress myself.

Wow, this could potentially be very awkward what with the only area of privacy in the dorm being the bathroom. As soon as I finished dressing myself I proceeded to make myself a bowl of dry cereal. I slapped my forehead as I realized I had forgotten to buy milk while we were at QFC. I resigned myself to plain dry cereal and a glass of apple juice.

By the time I left the room it was 6:55. I debated getting Dave up, but figured he had probably set his own alarm and I needn't wake him before he needed to get up. I grabbed my bag and keys and headed out the door to the classroom.

I opened the door a little before 7:00 to be greeted by Miss Ser- er Vriska sitting at her desk. As I walked in she looked up and smiled, "Please, take a seat."

I nodded and chose one near the middle of the classroom. I still couldn't understand why she set the desks up so that they were scattered about completely randomly, some of them weren't even facing the front of the classroom. I heard the door open and Tavros wheeled into the room, though he accidentally rammed into the doorframe and remained stuck for a moment. I got up from the desk but was cut off by Vriska, "No let him do it. He's perfectly capable and if he's ever going to get better at anything no one can coddle him."

I looked between Vriska and Tavros. He was still having trouble and caught his coat on the door handle as well.

"John, _Sit. Down._"

I did as I was told while Vriska watched Tavros struggle with his coat on the door handle and his wheels caught in the door. It took him a good solid five minutes to finally make his way through the door. He rolled up to a desk near mine and placed his bag on the desk.

Vriska stood up from her desk, "Now that _that_ little shenanigan is out of the way," She clapped her hands together, "Let's get down to business."

I glanced at Tavros. He shrugged.

"Boys, what are your academic interests?"

"Uh, I'm kind of into literature I guess," Tavros muttered.

"Tavros, speak clearly when you talk."

Tavros sat up a little straighter and nodded, "Yes Ma'am."

"John? Your interests?"

I shrugged, "I play piano and rather enjoy some aspects of math."

Vriska smiled, "good that's something we can definitely try to perfect. Now Tavros, what kind of literature do you enjoy?"

Tavros muttered something unintelligible.

"Tavros, what did I say about speaking clearly?

He cleared his throat, "Fairytales."

"I see. Well, I suppose we can work with that. John what is it you enjoy about music and math?"

I scratched the back of my head, " I guess I like the sequences in math. I suppose I like patterns Like the Fibonacci sequence. That sort of thing. Especially when incorporated into music."

Vriska smirked, "interesting. So, Now that we know what you two would like to challenge yourselves on we can start to work on that and find ways to advance your knowledge in those areas." She clapped her hands together, "Would you two be willing to come in during lunch today? By then I'll have some things for you to do."

I look at Tavros, he furrowed his brow. I kind of wanted to see if I could make any real friends during lunch today other than Dave, maybe see who the heck that clown guy Tavros hangs out with was. Or maybe see if I could get access to the music room more often so that I could keep my piano skills from rusting. Maybe explore the school a little bit, besides I was already coming in earlier in the mornings, why give up my lunch as well?

"Well, I was going to go and-"

Vriska cut me off, "I understand, your social life means more to you than academics," She shook her head, "I expected more from you, but I suppose that if it means more for you to find friends and goof off during lunch there isn't much I can do to stop you."

Now I felt like a huge douche. I supposed I could miss _one_ lunch. It wasn't as if I couldn't hang out after school.

"No, I can come in during lunch, I was just originally planning something else, but that can wait for later."

Vriska smiled, "Wonderful!"

I smiled a little bit. I loved the sound of her voice, though this was not exactly how I'd hoped to spend my lunch, but I could listen to her talk for hours on end.

"Tavros?" She looked at him expectantly.

He fidgeted a bit, "Uh, would it be okay if my friend Gamzee came too?"

Vriska frowned.

"Uh, I mean, he doesn't have to. Uh, I was just wondering if that would be okay with you."

"Hmmm, whose class is he in?"

I had no idea what that had to do with anything.

"Uh, I think he's in Miss Pyrope's class."

Vriska's face visibly darkened.

"I see."

I realized I was holding my breath and debated letting it out.

Thankfully, I didn't have to make that decision since Sollux opened the door. He looked at me and took a seat in the back of the room.

"Morning," He mumbled and pulled out his laptop. A faint glow lit his face and he began typing at lightning speed.

Vriska eyed him as if deciding what to order off of menu with nothing that sounded particularly appetizing and returned his greeting saying, "Good morning, Sollux."

Tavros cleared his throat, "Well, uh, would it be alright? If he-"

"Fine," She snapped.

Tavros seemed to shrink back into his chair as she sat back at her desk. Tavros pulled out a copy of _Peter Pan_, though the "Peter" was crossed out and re-written as "Pupa." The book looked rather old and was dog-eared all over the place with little notes written in the margins every so often once or twice there were whole sheets of paper shoved into the pages of the book. Needless to say, this book looked incredibly well-loved. I stared at the book for a while before realizing that I was probably looking pretty creepy right about now and decided that I probably ought to find something to do.

I reached into my bag and felt around for my spiral notebook. When I finally found it I grabbed a pencil and turned to the latest page. This was my sheet music notebook where I could write down anything that came to me. Lately I'd been working on a piece based off of a book I'd read called _The Night Circus_. I only had about ten measures so far but it was progress. Having perfect pitch really does help the composition process, though for me rhythms were nigh impossible because they always had to have some sort of interesting mathematic sequence and if they altered at all I'd have to re-write the entire song until they followed the pattern. This time I was trying something a bit exponential rather than linear and it was really kicking my ass. I had to switch time signatures almost every other measure. This really was starting to get a bit out of hand. I just stared at the page for a minute before finally putting down one single sixteenth note. After another minute or so of staring I placed a quarter note chord and continued to finish that measure over the next ten minutes. I honestly couldn't wait until after school to see if it really did sound okay, because I was definitely uncertain about the way that measure would sound rhythmically.

As I toiled over the one measure more kids started to trickle into the classroom. Karkat walked in scowling and took a seat next to Sollux. Dave sat himself down next to me, well at least as close to 'next to me' as the odd desk configuration would allow him, and glanced at my music as he unloaded his bag.

"So, what's up Egbert?"

I shrugged, "Just writing some music."

"What kind of music?"

"The really freaking rhythmically complicated kind that sounds awesome but is nigh impossible to compose."

"Sweet. But like, what genre?"

I shrugged again, it didn't really fit into a genre. I supposed it could be considered modern, but there weren't nearly enough chromatics for it to be classified thus, but sometimes it was dissonant so it could be slightly in that category, but really it was just me screwing around with a weird rhythm.

"I suppose it could be considered modern."

"Cool bro."

I again stared at the page counting the beats again and again until I could finally figure out what the next note should be based off of my weird pattern.

"Dude."

"Hmm?"

"You've been staring at that one note for like, three minutes. How long does it take you to write out one fucking note?"

I looked up at him, "Do you want the long reason or the short one?"

He cast a glance at the clock, we had about five minutes until class started.

"How long is the long reason?"

"Depends on how good you are at math."

"I suck balls at math."

"Okay, I'll give you the short one. I'm writing my music to a certain sequence of numbers so it takes me a long time to figure out how long each note should take."

He cocked his head at me, "Why _so _long though?"

I rubbed my temples, "So you want the long version."

"I guess."

I sighed and grabbed a sheet of paper and began to sketch a quick table with values that would create a parabola.

"The fuck?" is all Dave said as I tried to explain the process of determining how many beats each note gets and when to change the time signature.

I was in the middle of explaining that during the two four time section I could not use anything longer than a quarter note when he put his hands up and said, "You lost me. Lord knows I can barely add, this is an overload, but it seems like you've got a good handle on it. So good for you, bro."

I had to admit I was a little disappointed that he didn't want to listen to my whole explanation (Which in my opinion was incredibly genius), but it was for the best because not ten seconds later the bell rang signaling the beginning of class.

Vriska stood up from her desk and began handing out papers with "The Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll printed on it and lecturing us on the use of syllables. I took it and read it through. This would definitely be an interesting class.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry this is late. I was... yeah I have no excuse. But school starts tomorrow so the updates will probably be about once a week now. I hope you enjoy this. I promise that this plot is going somewhere. It's just taking a while, and it will get shippier later on. Probably. I mean, they're in sixth grade right now soooo yeah, no sloppy makeouts of sixth graders. Anywho, enjoy this chapter! :)**

I sat in the middle of the classroom holding a sandwich and staring at a page of graphing paper while Vriska stared over my shoulder. Tavros had left to go find Gamzee, whoever he was, I suspected that Gamzee was the guy with the face paint. I plotted points on a graph forming a pattern. The sequence was something along the lines of f(x)=124 √(x). Every time that I missed a point by more than a millimeter Vriska would point it out and force me to reposition it until it was perfect. She had me writing out the Fibonacci sequence up through the hundredth value.

_1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144…_

I heard the door open in the back of the classroom and I turned from spitting gout numbers onto a page to see that the kid with the face paint pushing Tavros's wheelchair into the room. Now that I could clearly see the kid, who I assumed to be Gamzee, I could really appreciate just how insanely _tall_ the guy was. I mean, sure I'd noticed he was above the average height before, but now I could see that he was pushing seven feet. Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little, but he must have been at least six feet tall.

Another thing I hadn't noticed until now was that he looked completely stoned. He had this vacant goofy smile plastered across his face which was only further emphasized by the clown paint. His black hair was even worse than mine on a bad day and I honestly wasn't sure how that was physically possible.

"Hey Miss motherfucking Serket!" He drawled.

She gave him a tight smile, "And you must be Gamzee."

He chuckled, "That's my motherfucking name, sis."

Tavros wheeled over to the desk nearest me and placed his food on the table and pulled out a notebook which was filled almost completely with pages upon pages of writing.

Vriska left the room saying something about picking up some worksheets as Gamzee pulled up a chair just behind Tavros peering over his should at the notebook before Tavros.

"What're these little miracles, Tavbro?"

I raised an eyebrow at Tavros directing my eyes between the two of them. He simply shrugged and proceeded to answer Gamzee's question.

"This is, uh, my writing journal."

Gamzee's eyes widened, "You write motherfucking stories?"

Tavros nodded as he continued to scrawl more and more words across the page.

"That's a motherfucking miracle. What kinds of stories?"

"I, uh, write fables and, uh, fairytale style stories."

"That's motherfucking cool, bro," Gamzee said as he leaned back against his chair, eyes glazed over.

I was, by this point, finding it difficult not to laugh at Gamzee. His constant smile seemed almost contagious and just the way he talked was funny, really gravelly with an accent or dialect or whatever it's called that I couldn't quite place. He seemed so easily pleased by just about everything.

Tavros continued his furious scribbling in his notebook as I finally made it to the twentieth number in the Fibonacci sequence.

Gamzee looked over at me smiling and shaking his head, "Oh, sorry bro. I forgot to ask your motherfucking name."

"John, John Egbert," I replied as I fished about in my messenger bag for my sheet music notebook.

"Pleased to make your motherfucking acquaintance, Egbro."

I chuckled a bit. At least it beat Eg_derp_. I flipped to the page I'd left off on in my current composition as Vriska re-entered the room seeming to be a bit grouchier than when she left. She placed a pile of papers she'd been carrying on her desk and sat down pinching the bridge of her nose.

I glanced at Tavros who looked back at me and shrugged. He didn't really seem like what one might call a man of action. So I took the initiative and turned my chair towards Vriska asking, "You okay?"

She sighed and said, "Yes, absolutely peachy-fucking-keen."

I turned back to my work, "Sorry."

She stood up and messed about with some eight sided dice on her desk looking incredibly agitated.

She fingered one die and placed it back down next to the rest of the set. I wondered what she even used the dice for. She adjusted her glasses and sat back down.

I looked back down to the current measure I was working on when Gamzee walked up to Vriska's desk and leaned on it saying, "Oh, now what the motherfuck has got you down, Miss Serket?"

"Nothing," She said through gritted teeth, "_Sit. Down. Gamzee_."

He shrugged and wandered back to his desk.

I really did wonder what had gotten her all worked up, but from the looks of it I wouldn't find out. Lunch continued in an awkward silence except for Gamzee's occasional commentary on Tavros's writing. I really wasn't sure why Vriska wanted us to come in during lunch in the first place, but I guess it could have been worse. I could have ended up having my movies verbally abused by Karkat or something like that. Soon enough the bell rang signaling the end of lunch and the class started to trickle in one by one.

As soon as the whole class was present Vriska stood up from her desk to begin the class.

"Okay everyone," She said clapping her hands together, "You are all to report to the art room for instruction for the last two hours of the day, this will be the case on most Wednesdays considering I have no skill whatsoever involving art."

The class sat in silence for a moment.

"Go on. What are you waiting for? Get your asses down to the art room."

At this everyone scrambled to grab their things and walk out the door.

"John and Sollux, see me after school today please."

Gog I felt like I was spending every second of every day around Vriska. I mean, she wasn't terrible or anything, there were just other things I'd rather be doing than hanging out in the classroom doing extra work.

I trudged down the hallway with Dave as we made our way to the art room.

"Why does Serket want you after school now?"

"I dunno," I shrugged, "I'm getting sick of all the out of class time."

"I feel ya, bro."

We arrived at the art room to be greeted by a stout man who seemed to have a perpetual frown written all over his face. His skin was so pale he looked almost green.

We started taking seats around the classroom.

"Hello and welcome to art class and yada yada yada. I really don't care. Name's Caliborn and that's what you all will call me or you will suffer the consequences."

None of us really paid any attention during all of class. This art teacher really was a shitty artist. The only thing he was good at was 90 degree angles. We ended up spending most of class drawing squares and rectangles, though most of us just chatted through the entire two hours.

"So what are you thinking you want to do after school today?" I asked Dave while sketching and paying no attention to the current project.

He shrugged, "I was thinking maybe we could check out the campus."

"That sounds pretty cool."

"Yeah."

"Could, uh, Gamzee and I come too?" Tavros piped up from behind his mess of papers on the desk.

I turned to Dave pleadingly.

"Sure, why the hell not?"

Tavros grinned and returned to sketching.

Class came and went without much happening other than Caliborn droning on about how we were such terrible students and doing shitty example drawings on the front white board.

When class finally let out I told Dave I'd meet him back at the Commons. I walked down the hall and into Vriska's classroom shortly followed by Sollux.

Vriska stood up as we entered the room.

"You wanted to see use?" I asked.

"Yes. Sollux, wait outside for a moment."

He shrugged and walked out into the hallway. I felt a little nervous being alone in the classroom with Vriska. Had I really screwed up during lunch by asking her what was wrong? Did I do something wrong during class? Maybe she just wanted to chat, but why would she have asked Sollux to leave the room?

"John. I wanted to apologize for my state earlier and snapping at you. It was unprofessional."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, "Apology accepted. We all have bad days."

"Thank you for understanding. Now fetch Sollux for me and you're free to go."

I nodded and walked out into the corridor, "You can head in now."

Sollux entered the classroom as I continued to walk towards the commons. How odd it was that Vriska would apologize to me, or anyone for that matter, she simply didn't seem like the apologetic type. Well, I supposed that everyone had two sides to them.

Once I finally reached the commons I found Dave and Tavros sitting at a table watching in silence a rather odd scene play out between Karkat and Gamzee.

"I don't fucking care about a lame-ass beverage! It tastes like shit from the ass of a fucking shit-eating dick-muncher."

Gamzee appeared to be trying to get Karkat to drink some of this orange soda thing that really didn't look particularly good.

"Man!" Gamzee chuckled, "You're all up and making motherfucking miracles with that mouth of yours."

"These aren't 'motherfucking miracles' this is _me_ telling _you_ to fuck off and let me spend my fucking time in so much fucking peace that fucking monks would be envious of my insane amounts of fucking peace."

"Man! All the crazy words coming out of that motherfucking mouth of yours. Where'd you even learn half of those motherfucking miracles?"

Karkat looked as though he were about to explode. It really was rather amusing seeing that short kid shouting epic profanity strings at Gamzee, who must have been at least a foot and a half taller than him.

Dave sat there with a smirk on his face just shaking his head at the two. He leaned over to me and muttered, "Old married couple right there."

I giggled. Tavros looked up at us questioningly. I relayed the message to him. He chuckled a little bit.

"What the fuck are you fuck-asses laughing at?"

This simply got us all in more laughing fits. Maybe Karkat wasn't that bad, even if he did have a terrible taste in movies.

Gamzee chuckled and gave Karkat a noogie to which he reacted with a long string of incredibly creative vulgarities.

"Aw, Karbro, don't and up and be such a motherfucking wet blanket."

"What did you just call me?"

"Karbro?"

"Gog! You all are driving me fucking crazy!"

It was at this moment that Sollux chose to show up.

"Who's driving you fucking crazy KK?"

Karkat turned around, "Thank fucking Jegus! Someone a bit tolerable who isn't a total dick!"

Sollux examined the group of us for a moment.

"Hey Motherfucker," Gamzee greeted, "I don't think I've made your motherfucking acquaintance."

"Sollux Captor," He lisped to Gamzee.

"Cool motherfucking name, bro," Gamzee smiled, "I'm Gamzee motherfucking Makara."

I elbowed Dave and muttered to him, "Should we head out?"

He shook his head and smirked, "This is a great show. It's like a fucking ballad of hilariousness. Like seriously."

I would rather have left, I really didn't have much in the way of people skills, but I'd rather hang about with Dave than wander off on my own. So I stuck around. By now Karkat appeared to be turning at least eight shades of red. Sollux was in the process of trying to calm the guy down, which appeared to be working. Very. Slowly. Gamzee had wandered back over to us and sat down in Tavros's lap. This guy seemed to have no sense of personal boundaries, but Tavros didn't seem to mind that much.

"Dave, the fun has died down, can we head out now?"

"So pushy, Egbert," he said in mock disapproval waving his index finger back and forth.

"Fuck you."

"Wow!" He grabbed his chest and faked dying, "You cut me deep, Egderp."

I rolled my eyes at him as he stood up saying, "Yeah, let's head out like a herd of turtles."

Tavros tried to wheel himself up to us, but found it incredibly difficult with Gamzee in his lap. He nudged Gamzee a bit and he got up and walked up to us.

We headed out the front door of the school, "So Dave, You've now met Gamzee."

"Honk!"

Dave looked at Gamzee and muttered, "The fuck?"

"Okay. I'll take that as a yes."

We started to make our way to the back of the school and found a path into some sort of wooded area.

"Anyone care for a walk?" I asked.

"Other than me?" Tavros muttered.

"Oh, sorry man. Yeah. Might not be a good idea."

"Nah, it's okay, uh, you guys go ahead."

"I'm not going anywhere without this little miracle right here," Gamzee piped up.

"Okay no walk."

We stood in awkward silence for a minute.

Finally Dave suggested, "Why don't y'all come hang out in our room?"

Tavros shrugged and Gamzee replied, "Sure, why the motherfuck not?"

And with that we headed back to the school. That was a pointless adventure.

When we arrived Dave unlocked the door and we all filed in. Tavros's mouth dropped open when he saw Dave's turntables.

"Whoa! You've got, uh, turntables!"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"You, uh, rap?"

"Hell fucking yes man, nothing like dropping some sick beats."

"Cool. I once, uh, tried rapping, I'm not very good at it. I always, uh, stumble in the middle."

Dave looked down at him, "You wanna have a rap-off?"

Tavros fidgeted, "I, uh, it's okay. I'm pretty terrible at it actually."

"Nah, man! We are making this shit take place."

"Uh, okay?"

I sat down on my bed with mild amusement at the scene about to play out before me. This was bound to be good.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N okay guys, I'm really sorry about the long wait, but school just started, I have auditions for the Wizard of Oz tomorrow, I had high school retreat yesterday and most of today (meaning no internet for me) and some stuff happened where I had my first kiss (like y'all needed to know that god what's wrong with my think pan?) and yeah. I hope you appreciate that I've never rapped before in my whole life so this is going to be super shitty. Also I apologize for the racist line in the rap... but IT RHYMED so I had to do it. anyways again, I'm really sorry for the wait. **

Dave popped his neck to the sides with a loud CRACK and hopped from foot to foot as if warming up for an incredibly important competition.

"Gimme a subject."

"I, uh, don't understand. A What?"

"A subject," He said as he proceeded to crack his knuckles, "If we're gonna have a rap off we need a subject."

"Oh, Uh, I don't know."

"Clowns!" Gamzee shouted honking a horn at the same time.

Dave frowned, "Oh, hell no."

I piped up and said, "Math?"

Dave gave me this look and said to me, "Really, Egderp, _Really_?"

I shrank back a little and look down at my feet, "Just a suggestion."

Dave shrugged, "Hey, why the hell not?"

He pulled up a random file on his laptop and hooked it up to his turntables and a loud heavily rhythmic soundtrack filled the room. He clears his throat and begins the rap off.

I leaned back to watch in amusement.

"The quadratic equation,

It's sweeping the nation,

And all the kids who are good at it

Are all part Asian."

Tavros takes a deep breath and begins, "Well, I, Uh, Walked into school

And all the, uh, kids start to drool,

Now I'm uh, sittin' in a pool

And, uh, all them kids think I'm, uh, cool."

Dave picks up again, "All those kids in your biz

They think you're a wiz

But I'm master of the quiz

While you're still wondering what x is."

"You may, uh, think my brain small,

But when I, uh, walk down the hall,

I see your, uh, grades from fall,

An' in, uh, math you're grades just crawl."

"You just released an inferno,

Of the things I had to learn-o,

And your tiny little burn-o,

Makes my stomach just churn-o."

"I, uh," Tavros looked around panicked, "I don't know where to go with this."

By this point I was barely holding back bursts of laughter; they were both just _so_ shitty. Dave had this cool-kid thing going, but his rap was shit.

I slow clapped, "Great job guys, absolutely fabulous."

"Aw, shut up, like you could do any better, Egdork."

"What ever happened to Eg_derp_? It was growing on me."

He shrugged, "I'm allowed variety right?"

I rolled my eyes at him, "Sure Dave."

"But that's beside the point," He turned to Tavros, "I beat your ass at this rap-off."

Tavros smiled and shrugged, "I, uh, told you I'm not, uh, very good."

Dave smirked, "Well, no one ever bests a Strider, so I guess I had a bit of an advantage."

"Yeah, I, uh, guess."

"Motherfuckin' bravo Tavbro," Gamzee said putting Tavros into an extremely awkward headlock which didn't work particularly well because of the wheelchair in the way. Now that I look back on it, I wish things had stayed this way forever. The shitty rap-offs, Gamzee just being a chill stoner, Dave being ironic, Tavros, oh god, poor Tavros, and just going along in life like a bunch of regular kids. At least we had a year of great times, but anyways, I digress.

We goofed around until almost nine o'clock when we realized we still hadn't eaten anything.

Dave opened the fridge, "We've got sandwiches and AJ, that's just about it."

"That's all motherfucking cool, bro."

Dave looked at me and pointed a thumb behind him at the refrigerator and said, "Make me a samich, bitch."

"Hell no, Dave. I am not your bitch."

"Says who?"

"Says _me_."

"Well, I'm not making sandwiches."

"I guess you'll just starve then."

"Aw, you wouldn't let this Strider die of hunger would you?"

I cocked and eyebrow at him, "You wanna bet?"

He put up his hands, "Well, looks like we got quite the badass over here."

"Gamzee, Tav, what kind of sandwiches do you want?" I asked

Dave plopped himself down on his bed, "So you're making them sandwiches but not me? You cut me deep, derp."

I roll my eyes.

"Well, uh, what do you have?"

"Um… I think we just have PB&J, is that good with you?"

"Motherfuckin' fantastic, Egbro."

"Sweet. Also, help yourselves to snacks, they're in the cupboard over there," I said, pointing to the cupboard above the sink.

Dave looked up abruptly, "If they 'help themselves' we're gonna starve by the end of the year."

"You guys can, uh, come over to our room tomorrow and, uh, we can see if we've got anything decent to eat."

Dave leaned forwards with his usual poker face and said in the most serious tone I've ever heard, "Can either of you cook?"

I winced a little bit. I knew where this was going.

Tavros shrugged, "It's a little difficult with, uh, my wheelchair and all, but, uh, yeah, I can, uh, cook, sort of."

"Hell. Yes," Dave said falling backwards on his bed, "If we buy you food can you cook random shit that doesn't taste like a fucknado."

Tavros shrugged, "I guess. I, uh, mean I'm not a _great_ cook, but I supposed I, uh, could make stuff that, uh, doesn't taste like a, uh, what did you call it?"

"Fucknado?"

"Yeah."

Dave lifted his arms in the air very slowly, "Hell. Fucking. Yes."

By this point Gamzee was searching the cupboards for something.

"Do you have any motherfucking Faygo?"

I shake my head.

"I'll just head back to the room real motherfucking quick to get some of that motherfucking miracle juice."

And with that he was out the door.

I stood there at the counter spreading peanut butter and jam on a whole lot of bread.

An awkward silence filled the room.

"So, uh, John," Tavros said finally breaking the silence.

I jumped a little bit, "Yeah?"

"What uh, do you think, uh, Miss Ser- I, uh, mean Vriska has planned for, uh, tomorrow morning?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, honestly she just really kind of confuses me. I mean, she doesn't seem particularly _bad_, just a bit… sporadic."

Tavros nods, "I, uh, don't get why she even wanted me to, uh, come in the first place. I, uh, I'm not really good at, uh, anything really."

"Well, what about that story you're writing?"

"Oh, uh, this?" He said pulling out a notebook.

"Yeah, that probably takes a lot of time to put together."

"Oh, uh, not really, just some, uh, little ideas that come to me."

"Also what was that _Peter Pan_ book you had?"

He seemed to smile faintly, "That's, uh, a book I used when I was, uh, younger. I used to, uh, read through it all the time. It, uh, gives a different meaning every time I, uh, read through it."

Dave appeared to be bored out of his mind. He'd begun making shadow puppets on the walls with a lamp in the corner of the room. I was certain it was for 'ironic' purposes.

"Why'd you write 'Pupa' on the front cover, isn't that like a bug egg or something?"

"Oh, uh, that. My brother Rufio and I used to, uh, create, uh, different settings for a, uh, reenactment of, uh, _Peter Pan_ and, uh, our most common, uh, alternate universe was, uh, a sort of, uh, buggy troll land. We, uh, changed his name to, uh, Pupa and played along like that."

"Cool. Only thing interesting my family does is my dad bakes a hell of a lot of cakes and collects clown puppets- I mean _harlequins_."

At this Dave turned around, "Your guardian has a thing about puppets, too?"

"Sort of. Mostly just pictures of them though."

"Dude! My bro does this gross pornography of these fucking creepy-ass puppets. Calls them fucking _Smuppets_."

Tavros piped up, "I, uh, I'm probably going to regret asking this but, uh, what's pornography?"

Dave and I look at each other.

'Should we tell him?' I mouthed at him.

"He asked." Dave clears his throat and begins the explanation, "Pornography is explicit descriptions, pictures, and/or videos of sexual acts."

Tavros turned about twenty shades of red and managed to pale at the same time. Gamzee chose this moment to enter the room. Rather loudly at that.

"Hey motherfuckers I just all up and- whoa, why's Tavbro look like a motherfucking tomato?"

Dave shrugged, "We just explained porn to him."

Gamzee chuckled, "Well, welcome to a motherfucking boys school motherfucker."

Tavros seemed to turn even redder.

"ANYWAY," I said rather loudly to steer the topic of conversation away from porn, "I've got sandwiches ready."

"Motherfucking sweet, Egbro!" Gamzee seemed to dive into his sandwich and down in in about two bites.

"Thanks," Tavros said grabbing one and nibbling at it.

Dave peeked over the counter.

"Yes, Dave, I did end up making one for you, too."

He smirked.

"Still doesn't mean I'm your bitch."

We ate mostly in silence except for Gamzee's occasional "Honk."

Once we finished our food it was nearly nine thirty and curfew would be in about half an hour so Gamzee and Tavros started to head out.

I pulled on a night-shirt and pulled off my pants when I heard a yelp from Dave across the room.

He'd opened his suitcase and staring up at him was a _creepy-ass_ puppet.

He regained his composure and muttered, "Dammit, bro." He picked it up and set it on the floor regarding it as if it were radioactive.

"Who's that?" I asked nodding towards the puppet.

"This is Lil' Cal. He is the bane of my existence. I'm surprised Bro was willing to part with him long enough to send him with me for this stupid prank. God I wonder how many Smuppets he stuck in my other bags."

"Um, do you want to move him? He's kind of creeping the hell out of me."

Dave arched an eyebrow, "Try living with him 24/7."

I shuddered at the thought.

"To think I used to think he was the _shit_," Dave muttered under his breath.

I set my alarm for the next day a little earlier as Dave made for the shower. I pulled out my phone and opened up my Pesterchum App.

**-ectoBiologist [EG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 21:47—**

**EB: hey rose!**

**TT: Hello John.**

**EB: how're things back home?**

**TT: Average.**

**EB: c'mon rose**

**EB: something interesting has to happen at some point!**

**TT: I am far more interested in your endeavors at boarding school.**

**EB: if i tell you what's going on over here will you tell me how stuff is at home?**

**TT: I believe I can oblige.**

**EB: cool**

**EB: well, i've got this teacher, she's pretty weird and teaches really weird stuff, but she seems to like me so i think i'll be okay as far as grades go**

**TT: I'm certain you would do fine even if the teacher didn't like you. You are a fairly bright young man.**

**EB: thanks rose, but anyway, the teaching schedule here is really weird we have one teacher for three years then another for the next four**

**EB: i met some cool people, there's dave, he's my roommate and he thinks he's so cool, but really he's just as much of a dork as he thinks i am**

**EB: this stoner guy named gamzee is pretty chill**

**EB: and tavros is the guy i come in before class with for one-on-one time with vriska**

**EB: vriska is my teacher btw**

**EB: and then i met this shouty guy named karkat and his roommate sollux who doesn't talk too much it seems, but it's been pretty normal i guess, except my weird teacher.**

**TT: What is so weird about your teacher?**

**EB: aw rose, you're supposed to tell me about things back home now.**

**TT: Very well. Your father is continuing to bake cakes as far as I can tell. Jake seems to have disappeared on one of his alleged adventures again, personally I think he really just wanted an excuse to carry around his pistols now that he's finally gotten a license for them, and my mother is still drunk out of her mind.**

**EB: cool, well to answer your question about my teacher, she's just really strange and she seems like she has a lot on her mind, but won't tell anyone about it. idk.**

**TT: Maybe you should look into it further.**

**EB: oh gog, please don't tell me you're going to start your tentacle therapy on my TEACHER!**

**TT: Why shouldn't I?**

**EB: ugh! rose just don't. she gets all pissy when i ask about stuff.**

**TT: interesting.**

**EB: see you're doing it already!**

**TT: I can't help myself.**

**EB: well, I should sleep, good night, rose.**

**TT: Goodnight, John.**

**-ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 21:58- **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N okay I am SO VERY VERY SORRY for the wait for those of you who read this. Honestly, I have very little in the way of excuses except that school is kicking my ass. I'm also going to be in the ****Wizard of Oz**** so the updates may continue to be fairly slow. Anyway, again, I'm sorry for the long wait. Please review, don't be afraid to give constructive criticism, I always want to improve. Also, if there are ever any spelling or grammar errors feel free to point them out so that I can fix them. Enjoy!**

I stood in the shower after groggily dragging myself out of bed. My mind was still foggy from sleep and the blast of cold water before it finally warmed up seemed to shock me out of my dazed state of mind. I popped my neck back and forth rinsing out my hair. Gog, this shower felt so good. I stepped out of the shower and toweled myself off.

Soon enough I had eaten a handful of dry cereal and downed a glass of apple juice and was on my merry way out the door to Vriska's classroom. When I arrived I was surprised to see Sollux sitting at the desk nearest the back corner with his laptop open and Vriska standing over his shoulder as he typed furiously. She looked up from her position stooping over Sollux who visibly relaxed as he felt her presence leave.

"Morning, John."

"G'morning," I mumbled in response.

I took the seat in almost the exact center of the classroom and pulled out a notebook, pencil, and my unfinished sheet music and began to work out the next beat in the song.

No less than a minute later Tavros opened the door, struggling to keep it open and roll in at the same time. I debated getting up to help him, but I knew Vriska would simply tell me to let him figure it out like she'd done yesterday.

After a minute or so of finagling with the door Tavros wheeled himself up to a desk diagonal to mine. The desks appeared to change position every day. Today they were again completely misconstrued and crooked, but they seemed to have shifted a bit to the left and a few of the edge desks were rotated differently. Tavros retrieved his "_Pupa" Pan_ book from his bag as well as the notebook and began scribbling away at it furiously.

Vriska walked amongst the desks between the three of us and glanced at Tavros's journal and her face seemed to change from its usual stern and judging look to one of interest and maybe even mild amusement. She leaned in closer over his desk scanning the desk with her one visible eye.

She smirked and asked, "Into role-playing, huh?"

Tavros looked up, "Uh, What?" He glanced down at the _"Pupa" Pan_ book, "Oh! This? Yeah, I, uh, suppose you could, uh, call it that. Mostly I, uh, just write little, uh, side stories, but, uh, yeah, I suppose I am into, uh, role-playing."

"I see. That's interesting. I myself am a role-player, though I haven't really done any in years." A frown seemed to appear upon her face, but she shook out of it and I convinced myself it had been simply been a trick of the light.

"Oh, that's, uh, really cool. I like to role-play as Pupa- I mean, uh, Peter pan."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I, uh, like to think that I can fly."

I heard Sollux snicker in the back of the room. At that moment I really kind of wanted to punch the guy in the face. So what if Tavros had fantasies about flying, why shouldn't he? He couldn't _walk_ so why not pretend to be someone who can do even more than that? Who doesn't wish that they could fly? Okay, maybe people who are afraid of heights, but seriously, _flying_. Flying would be the coolest thing ever.

"Interesting," Vriska nodded and sat herself back down at her desk and sorted through some papers unconsciously fingering one of her eight-sided dice again. I returned my attention to my music picking out some more notes and calculating beats and time signatures. I hoped it sounded halfway decent for the amount of effort I was putting into it. I tapped the rhythm on the desk briefly and added in another sixteenth note. More time passed before class finally began.

We studied the written curriculum as well as a few other things Vriska threw in about good storytelling and arachnid anatomy. Lunch came and I hung out with Dave, Tavros, Gamzee, and occasionally Karkat would join us and Sollux would tag along.

Days passed in this manner, coming in early before school for extra work-time, hanging out with Dave, Tav, and Gamzee. Every Tuesday and Thursday I'd practice piano seeing as the music room was booked the rest of the week for a few of our auditioned bands and choirs. I had debated auditioning to be the jazz piano accompanist, but I figured, being in sixth grade and all, that other people would be better suited for it and I should get used to the school the first year rather than pile on so much stuff outside of class that I couldn't function properly.

Soon those days turned to weeks and the weeks turned to months and soon enough winter break was creeping up around the corner. I would be headed home for the break. It would be nice to get to see my dad and friends again; however I wasn't sure whether Jake had returned from his 'adventures.' I supposed I'd find out when I returned home.

"Hey, Dave?" I asked a couple days before break was to begin.

"Yeah, man?"

"What're you doing over break?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. I haven't heard from Bro in a while, I should probably ask him if I'll be coming home or staying here."

"Where _do_ you live? I never really asked before."

"I'm from Houston, Texas."

"_Really?_ You don't have an accent or anything! Heck, you're freaking blindingly white!"

"Yup. I'm a Texan."

I turned to face him across the room crossing my legs on my bed, "Can you speak with your accent?"

He looked up from his laptop, "You're fucking _kidding_ me, Egderp."

I widened my eyes at him trying to give what I imagined to be an adorable puppy-face.

"You're eyes look like they're about to pop out of your head."

"C'mon Dave! _Please_!"

Dave cleared his throat and said in a Texan drawl, "Aw, Hell no, I am not doing a fucking accent for you."

I clapped and fell backwards on my bed with glee.

Returning to his usual speech patterns Dave asked, "Anyway, where are _you_ from, Egbert?"

I sat back up, "Washington, we're over in Maple Valley."

"Where's Maple Valley? Gimme some perspective here."

"You know where Seattle is?"

"Yeah."

"We're about thirty miles southeast of Seattle."

"Cool. What're you doing for the break?"

"Me? I'm heading back up home and probably going to hang out with my dad and avoid as many cakes as possible, maybe see Rose and my cousin Jake, depending on whether he's back from whatever it is that he does when he leaves."

"Sweet."

"So, you should probably talk to your bro about whether you're staying or leaving. If you want, you could come home with me over the break. I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind."

Dave shrugged, "It all depends."

"Well, if heading home with your bro doesn't work out, then just keep it in mind."

Dave smiled, actually smiled, and said, "Thanks, John."

I smiled back at him, "No problem."

I turned back to my homework and continued editing my essay due the next day. It wasn't long before I finally finished re-writing my conclusion and heard a knock at the door. I hopped up from my bed and unlocked the door to see Tavros and Gamzee, that's right, tonight it was our turn to host dinner. We'd worked into a groove where Mondays and Thursdays were our night to have Tavros and Gamzee over and Tuesdays and Fridays Dave and I would head over to their room. Wednesdays we'd alternate and weekends we tended to go out to eat, generally at this _fantastic_ Indian restaurant with the _greatest_ butter chicken ever. I let Gamzee and Tavros in. Gamzee pushed him through the doorway.

"Motherfucking HONK motherfucker!"

"Uh, hey guys!"

Dave stood up from his bed stowing his laptop beneath it and pulling out a phone and walked out into the hall dialing a number and muttering some sort of greeting to Tavros and Gamzee before excusing himself to call... whoever it was he was calling, probably his bro or something.

Tavros wheeled himself over to the fridge and gestured for me to follow, lately he'd been trying to teach me the basics of cooking, but honestly, I really wasn't catching on. It seemed that I burned everything. Tavros opened the fridge with a bit of difficulty and grabbed an assortment of vegetables. Honestly, I think he knew his way around our fridge better than we did.

He replaced the door of the fridge and placed the ingredients on the miniscule counter space.

Whilst Tavros explained to me what we were making Dave reentered the room and sat down on his bed again collapsing in a pile of blankets.

"Hey, Egderp?" He called over to me.

I looked up from carefully chopping carrots, "Yeah?"

"I'll take you up on that offer."

"The one where you come home with me for break?"

"Yep, that's the one."

"Cool, I'll let my dad know."

He nodded and seemed to relax on the bed. I returned to meticulously slicing the little orange vegetables while Tavros struggled to watch me trying to peek up a little higher over the counter to supervise my cooking. Eventually I finished with the carrots and moved on to slicing peppers, broccoli, and onions. By the time that was over my eyes were watering to the point at which I was as blind as I was without my glasses. Tavros instructed me in how to fry them, it seemed we would be making some sort of stir fry. Telling me which spices to add and when to start boiling the rice I tried desperately to follow his directions. By the end it seemed that we had a decent dinner.

It was nights like these I used to adore; nights when we had no worries and not a care in the world. Our casual bickering keeping the mood light and the food that didn't taste like, as Dave continued to put it for as long as I can remember, a fucknado.

"Nice job, Egdork."

I shrugged, "Tavros was the guy who really did all the work. It'd taste horrid if he weren't there."

Tavros chuckled, "Well, uh, you did it right, so you, uh, deserve at least _some_ credit."

"Honk!"

At this we all went silent for a moment and burst out laughing, except Dave, who simply smirked and chuckled a bit, he was too cool for laughter.

We sat and ate telling jokes and chatting like usual and soon enough it was nearing curfew and Gamzee and Tavros rushed out the door to their dorm. They were often caught out past curfew and had received more than a few detentions for it, though Dave and I also wound up with just as many detentions for the same reason.

After they left the room grew quiet as I pulled on a nightshirt and slipped into bed. I pulled out my phone and opened up a message to send to my dad.

**Me: Hey dad, I was wondering if maybe my friend from school could come stay with us over break.**

I waited a while before I heard the familiar _BLIP_ of my phone.

**Dad: I suppose we have room to spare. Is this that Tavros kid, or Dave?**

**Me: Oh, it's Dave. He can't go home over break, so I offered to have him come back home with me, I hope that's ok.**

**Dad: Yes, it's fine, he can stay with us. I suppose I'll have to drive the van up then won't I? Or do you think we could fit everything in the Civic?**

**Me: I dunno, maybe, depends on what he's bringing.**

**Dad: You'd better ask him.**

**Me: sure.**

I turned to face Dave's side of the room where he sat goofing around on his laptop.

"Hey, Dave?

"Yeah?"

"My dad says you can come."

He looked up, "really?"

I nodded.

"Cool."

"Um, we do need to know how much stuff you'll be bringing up to the house with you though, also I think we need to fill out some forms or something like that."

He shrugged, "I'll probably just bring a few pairs of clothes and such. I'd bring my turntables, but that'd be a bit of a nuisance to load and unload, not to mention if anyone broke them I'd probably be arrested for attempted or successful murder."

I chuckled despite knowing he was serious.

**Me: You should probably be able to manage with just the civic**

**Dad: Okay. Also, I think you'll need to have his mom or dad to fill out a form saying he's allowed to come home with us.**

**Me: Um, he doesn't have a mom or a dad. He's got his bro though.**

**Dad: Oh. I see. Well, he'll have to fill out that form, I think it's on the school website.**

**Me: Okay, I'll let him know**

This presented a real dilemma, if they didn't have a fax machine wherever Dave's Bro lived he may not be able to come home with me at all.

"Dave?"

This time Dave stirred from trying to sleep, "What do you want, derp?"

"Geez! Just needed to let you know that your Bro will have to sign some form on the school website, which could be problematic considering he's in Texas and we're in the middle of northern Idaho."  
"He's not in Texas."

"I thought you said you guys were from Houston."

"We are, but he's not in Texas."

"Well, where is he?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Dave sat up, "I don't know where he is."

I furrowed my brow, "Why not?"

He laid back down on the bed and took off his shades, which I'd never seen him do without thinking no one was watching, though he kept his eye closed as he pinched the bridge of nose, "Because I called and his friend Roxy picked up saying he went off to god knows where."

"Oh." I wasn't sure how to respond.

After a long silence I cleared my throat and asked, "Does he have a cell number?"

Dave nodded.

"Did you try that one?"

Dave nodded again.

"Oh. Is there anyone else who could sign that form?"

"I can, I've forged his signature enough times."

"Oh."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"What?"

"You keep saying "Oh" over and over again."

"Oh. I-"

"There it is again. Why do you keep saying that?"

"I just, I guess I'm just not sure what to say."

"Why?"

I shrugged and laid back on my bed, "I just never really thought that your bro was the kind to up and disappear all the time. Sounds kind of like my cousin Jake, he leaves all the time without notice, but I suppose it's okay for him because, well, he doesn't have any responsibilities."

Dave rolled over to face the wall and said, "I see. Well, goodnight Egbert."

"G'night Dave."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Hi, I'm sorry that this chapter is a bit shorter than a lot of the others. I'm going to try and keep updating every Wednesday because it seems to be working okay, although that may not be the case later. Thanks for reviewing and such. Reviews make me very happy. Anyway, here, have a chapter. I also SWEAR up and down that this plot is going somewhere.**

Soon enough I was packing up my suitcase and Dave was doing the same. He pulled out his phone and stared at it for a minute or so. This was the fifth time he'd done this this morning and frankly it'd been driving me crazy that he wouldn't just call him.

"Dude, Dave."

He looked up at me.

"Just call the guy."

He shook his head and put his phone back in his pocket and said, "Drop it, Egbert."

I sighed, "Just give him a quick call to at least let him know where you're going."

"Nah, man. I'll call him later."

I stood up from my position bent over my suitcase, "No you won't. Just do it now."

"No, it's not worth it, he's not gonna pick up."

"You should at least make sure he's not gonna call the school and get my dad and me in trouble for taking you home with us."

"Fine, whatever will make you happy, Egderp."

He retrieved his phone from his pocket for the sixth time now and finally dialed the number though he paused a moment before pressing the "call" button. Through the uncomfortable silence I could hear the dial tone continue before a voice could be heard saying, "Sup, this is bro leave a message after the hideous blaring called a tone." Followed by a high pitched _BLEEP_.

"Hey bro, it's Dave. I'm heading to a friend's house over winter break so don't call the school or any shit like that 'cause they will flip their shit if they find out I forged your signature and will probably get my bro here in a fuckload of trouble. Gimme a call or something to inform me that you aren't dead or anything. Oh! I also still have lil' Cal. Lemme know if you want me to mail him back to you or some shit like that. Anyway, see ya."

Dave hung up and just stared at the phone for a minute and shoved it back in his pocket, "Happy now, Egbutt?"

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. After Dave told me about how Bro disappears all the time I knew that his brother was a sore topic except when praising his irony and beats.

I return to packing my bag with a few of my favorite pajamas and my couple pairs of non-school-uniform clothes. I didn't really have to pack much since all my stuff would be at home other than my laptop and phone. I glanced over my shoulder at Dave again.

He packed Lil' Cal into one of his bags and I shuddered as I realized that thing would be in my house. Dave continued grabbing random things from around his bed; a shirt her and there, a pair of socks, some headphones, that sort of thing. As he dug around under his bed and retrieved a red and white shirt with a broken record on it I realized that I had never seen Dave in anything other than our bland school uniform. It was rather odd to think of any of my classmates really in anything except our school attire.

I checked the clock to see that my Dad would probably be arriving in about two hours. He'd said that he'd started driving about three hours ago and that it would probably take him around five or six total. I figured now would be as good a time as any to say goodbye to Vriska considering that I wouldn't see her for just shy of a month. I also wanted to see Gamzee and Tavros before I left.

"I'm gonna head out for I bit," I told Dave as I picked up my key and headed out the door towards Gamzee and Tavros's room. I tried to remember who all would be leaving and who would be staying. Tavros had said that he'd be heading down to Oregon to stay with his dad. Gamzee would be staying at the school, I felt a little bad for Gamzee because he'd be stuck at the school over the holidays. Tavros _did_ offer to have him stay at his house, but Gamzee simply told him that he was "All up and chill with hanging out with motherfuckin' Karbro." Oh yeah! Karkat was also staying, said something about, "Can't fucking stand that nook licking word garbage spewing fucker called a brother." Or something along those lines. It seemed that Gamzee and Karkat were starting to get along pretty well. While I still couldn't say that Karkat and I were exactly 'friends' per se, I was at least used to his constant cussing and hostility.

When I arrived before their door I knocked a few times to be greeted by Gamzee, "What's up motherfucker?"

I grinned, "Hey! Just wanted to stop by before Dave and I headed out."

"Gamzee! Who the fuck is at the door?! It's your fucking turn and I'm not waiting here for you for fucking ever."

I leaned around Gamzee and smiled a goofy smile, "Aw, Karkat am I raining on your parade?"

"Fuck off, Egbert."

"Love you too, Karkat."

I then looked back to Gamzee, "Well, I guess I'll see you in like… what.. a month?"

Gamzee gave me a hug and lifted me off my feet squeezing all the air of my lungs, "Yeah, something like that."

"G-gamz- I c-can't breathe," I sputtered out before he replaced me back on my feet.

"Sorry, Egbro. Hugs are just motherfuckin' miracles though aren't they?"

I chuckled and said, "Sure thing."

"See ya, Egbro!"

Just before he closed the door I remembered, "Hey, wait Gamz. Is Tavros around? I was hoping to say bye to him."

Gamzee opened the door again, "Oh yeah, he all up and headed to Vriska's classroom about a half hour ago, said he'd be all up and leaving pretty soon though."

"Thanks!" With that I bolted down the hallway towards Vriska's room hoping that maybe Tavros hadn't left yet. I opened the door to the classroom happy to see Tavros sitting next to Vriska's desk with some sort of board game open. He rolled her eight dice ending up with a whole bunch of random numbers, I think there were maybe a few '1's and '3's. He frowned and sighed replacing some of the markers sitting in front of him back into the box and knocking over his character.

"Hello, John," Vriska said as she took the dice and rolled an eight and moving her character around the center of the board. She drew a card from the tallest of the decks of cards.

"Uh, Hey, John!" Tavros turned his head over his shoulder to look at me.

"Care to join us?" Vriska gestured to another chair near the desk.

I shrugged, "Sure, Why not?" I seated myself so that I was facing the rest of the board, "What are you guys playing?"

"Uh, this is a, uh, sort of a role-play game, it's, uh, really dumbed down though, and, uh, we're playing an, uh, alternate version with, uh, more dice, and uh, more characterization."

"What's it called?"

Vriska took a few blue cone-shaped markers from the box and replied, "Talisman." She then began to narrate her character, "Spinneret Mindfang discovered a chest amongst the ruins of an old dwarven kingdom and when she opened it she not only found a bag of gold but an ancient tome filled with mysteries of wit and craft." She placed her small blue cone-like pieces next to her character card. I noticed that she was playing as the Thief. I cast a glance at Tavros's character card to see that he'd been playing as the Cleric. Vriska reached down to the box and shuffled the character cards and told me to pick one. I drew at random and found myself staring at a very sexy and scantily clad woman holding a spear and dagger. "Amazon," I read aloud. I showed Tavros the card and he giggled.

"Uh, You're, uh, very beautiful, John. You're, uh, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

I struck a pose and winked at him which reduced him to further giggles.

Vriska simply smirked and shook her head. Vriska and Tavros quickly explained the rules to me and soon enough I was inserted into the game. As I played along I quickly found out that Vriska seemed to be _incredibly_ lucky, she hardly ever rolled a number that didn't benefit her in some way shape or form. She also nearly always drew cards that ended up being easily beatable if they were enemies or really cool awesome magic stuff if it was an item. We played like this for about an hour before Vriska finally won and Tavros had to leave. I sat at the desk with Vriska in our, by this point, comfortable company.

Over the past couple of months Vriska had helped me increase my math skills and we'd begun working with quadratic functions regularly. Everything she did seemed to be for my own benefit. Yes, she would sometimes be in a terrible mood; yes, she was very strict; yes, she pushed me incredibly hard to do the best I could. But she didn't coddle me. She believed that I could do whatever task I was put up against, and it felt nice to know that she thought that I could hold my own.

I did, however, often wonder what caused her reoccurring bad moods.

As I sat at that desk writing down little tunes that popped into my head, I debated finally asking her about it.

"Vriska?"

She raises her eyebrows at me, however she does not look up from the book she's reading, "Hmm?"

"The other day, when you came in just before class. What was bugging you?"

This time she does look up and I almost instantaneously regret asking.

"I do believe that is my problem."

"Sorry," I say dropping my voice, "I was just wondering if maybe I could help."

"No. You can't help."

The normally peaceful silence suddenly felt crushing and I glanced at the clock. My dad would arrive in about a half an hour. I shift uncomfortably in my seat and Vriska lets out a sigh.

"Look, John. I appreciate your concern, but this is a rather personal matter for me. Just drop it."

_Man_, I thought to myself, _everyone's having major emotional crap they don't want to talk about today, first Dave, now Vriska_.

I nodded and again looked at the clock.

"I ought to go make sure I have everything packed," I said as I stood up from my seat .

"Have a nice break, John."

I gave her a smile which she returned and I headed out the door with a, "You too!"

I opened the door to my room and found Dave stroking his turntables.

I grinned, "Do you two need some alone-time?"

Dave looked up and appeared flustered for a split second but regains his composure just as quickly.

"Yeah man, gotta give a dude some time with his babies before he leaves them alone for-fucking-ever, gotta give 'em one last erotic goodbye stroke."

I just chuckled and started to search beneath my bed for anything else I might want to take home. Soon enough I received a text from my dad saying he was waiting in the parking lot.

Dave and I picked up our suitcases and keys and worked our way out the door.

As soon as we exited the school I could see my dad with his white fedora standing by our civic. He waved and I pointed him out to Dave. Just as we reached the sidewalk a ringtone sounded that definitely was not mine.

Dave pulled out his phone and hit the answer button.

"Sup this is Dave Strider?"

His usually stoic face melted after a moment followed quickly by him asking in barely above a whisper, "Bro?"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N okay forget what I said about updating on Wednesdays. There is no rhyme or reason to any of this. I'm really sorry if these just get slower and slower because I have a feeling that's how it's gonna go because I have SO much crap on my plate right now what with being Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, and having a mountain of homework and joining a D&D group. But I promise I won't abandon this to those of you who may actually enjoy this. Feel free to leave critique and such. Love you all!**

* * *

"Goddammit, Bro! Where the fuck have you been?!" Dave hissed into the phone, "No I don't care! You have no fucking excuse. You don't just not answer your friends and family when they're trying to find out if you're still the fuck alive! You could have left a fucking message or _something_."

My dad raised his eyebrows at me and I mouthed to him "I'll explain later."

"You could have called at least once! I left you _four_ messages. Roxy said she'd left at least seven from what I could tell through her slurring." There was a pause and Dave responded with deadly precision in his voice, "Let me spell this out for you. If the drunk is worried _you should fucking call, you dick!_" There was a sudden pause in Dave's yelling spree as he listened to his bro followed shortly by Dave saying, "What. The. Literal. Fuck. What do you mean you can't tell me? I'm you're fucking _brother_! What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?" There was a pause, "You'd better not be pulling any ironic bullshit right now because if you're pranking me I swear I will burn Lil' Cal to a crisp right here and now."

I shuffled some of luggage in the back of the car around to make space for Dace.

"Whatever bro, I'll call you when we get there and you had better pick the fuck up."

Dave shoved his phone into his back pocket and heaved a sigh regaining his cool façade as he made his way towards our car.

"So," I began, "What's up with your bro?"

"Just being a fucking dick like always. I mean he's a totally awesome and ironic dude, but I get real fed up with his shit sometimes."

"Oh. So. Are you still coming with us?"

"Yeah, he says he'll call or something, though I wouldn't count on it considering what a busy guy he is."

"Cool. So it looks like we're all loaded up."

"Sweet." And with that we hopped into the car preparing for the five hour drive home.

I spent most of the drive listening to my dad interrogating Dave, which he didn't seem to mind _too_ much.

"So, Dave," My father asked puffing his pipe, "How do you like the school so far?"

"It's okay I suppose, I mean I'm getting kinda sick of the same damn teacher every day."

"Uh- huh? Well, where are you from?"

"My bro and I live down in Texas."

"Really? I'd never have guessed. You're quite a ways from home then."

"Yeah, most people generally assume I'm from the northwest since I'm so blindingly white."

My dad chuckled, "So what do you do for fun?"

Dave shrugged, "I rap, write shitty comics, sword-fight, though I'm a bit out of shape since I haven't been able to strife with my bro lately, I really should find some way to fix that or else he'll kick my ass more than he usually does next time."

"You swordfight?"

"Yep."

"With real swords?"

"Uh-huh."

"Is that safe?"

"Not really, but we know when to stop, it's also great so that if I ever get mugged I'll be able to actually defend myself."

My dad furrowed his brow in concern, "I see." He glanced in the rearview mirror at Dave, "Do you wear those shades all the time?"

"Yeah, I do."

"You're probably going to want to take them off when-"

"No."

"What? I didn't even finish my sentence."

"The shades do _not_ come off. Ever."

"Are they prescription?"

Dave tensed, "No."

"Just for the image?"

"Not exactly."

At this point I knew Dave was not at all comfortable with the direction this conversation was going.

"_Dad_, I think you've had enough interrogation privileges for now, can I have my friend back?"

He chuckled again, "Of course, son. I'm proud of you for finding friends at school."

I rolled my eyes, "Oh. My. God. Dad. You've said that like… five times."

Dave smirked at me.

I didn't even get a "thanks" for saving his ass from the destructive wrath of prying parental units. Oh well.

Dave and I chatted for a lot of the car ride, my dad still managing to get a question in every once in a while. Eventually the conversation dwindled and we retreated into electronic entertainment. After all, how long can a conversation between people who spend nearly every second of every day together last with parents in the car. Well, a few hours, but not five.

Dave bobbed his head to whatever beat was running through his ears mouthing along to the lyrics. I goofed around on my phone for a while before deciding to check in with Rose. I pulled up my pesterchum app happy to see Rose online.

**-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 15:42-**

**EB: hey rose!**

**TT: Hello John.**

**EB: guess what!**

**TT: Do you want me to actually guess or do you want me to treat this as the rhetorical question you intend it to be?**

**EB: ugh rose, you're so weird.**

**EB: but anyways, I'm on my way home!**

**EB: and i'm bringing my friend dave with me.**

**TT: Interesting. I look forwards to meeting him.**

**EB: rose please don't do your whole therapy thing at him please.**

**EB: i already had to save him from my dad's prying.**

**TT: i see. Is he a very closed person?**

**EB: oh. my. god. rose. just no.**

**EB: but yes he is a pretty closed.**

**EB: he never even takes off his dorky anime shades except to sleep.**

**EB: i think he might even wear them in the shower.**

**TT: I see.**

**EB: so please rose. just don't.**

**TT: I make no promises, but I shall refrain.**

**EB: thanks rose… but i'm still giving him the heads up.**

**TT: You're very protective of your friends, John.**

**EB: i'm going to stop responding now.**

**EB: no therapy for me.**

** -ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 15:57—**

I closed down the app and heaved a sigh. I tapped Dave on the shoulder as I began to recognize the area we were driving through. He pulled his headphones out.

"What's up?"

"So we're almost there, probably fifteen minutes left and that means you're probably going to meet my friend Rose relatively soon and I'm just gonna give you the heads up that she's really analytical of people so brace yourself for major interrogation. And I mean the sort of interrogation in which she delves into the darkest recesses of your mind and picks you apart."

"Oh."

"Yup, though she said she'd try to keep it to a minimum, but you really can never tell with Rose."

"Okay. Thanks, Man."

"No problem."

My dad chuckled a bit and we rounded the curve as we to the exit to get off the freeway.

Soon enough I could see my house. My dad pulled into the driveway and parked the car. I unclipped my seatbelt as Dave did the same and my dad popped the trunk open. I started to unload both of our luggage out of the back of the car and roll it up to the front door.

The sight of the house gave me a warm feeling all throughout my chest. I pulled on the handle and tried to open the door and felt rather stupid as I realized that the door would be locked since no one was home. I turned to my dad who was checking the mailbox, "Hey dad, can you toss me the keys?"

He pulled them out of his pants pocket and lightly tossed them in my direction. I reached out to catch them but felt immediately like an idiot as they landed on the ground in front of me with a soft _chink!_

I sighed and leaned down to pick them up and unlocked the door dragging my suitcase behind me. Dave walked in behind me quickly followed by my dad who closed the door. We dumped our bags on the ground and I kicked off my shoes and threw them into the entryway closet. Dave then followed suit.

I picked up my suitcase again and gestured for Dave to follow me, "Hey, c'mon, my room's this way."

He smirked at me and I showed him the way through the house. I walked into the- _Oh god not the harlequins!_ I shuddered as we walked through the living room where my dad stored his collection of harlequins. We climbed the staircase and down the hall to my room. I opened the door and smiled as I finally revisited my glorious room.

Dave snickered, "Shit Egbert, I didn't know you were THAT in love with Cage."

I turned a bright shade of red, "Shut up Dave. You know Cage is the best anyways."

"I bet you make out with those posters when you have time."

"_Daaaaaave_! Oh my god. Really? First off, I'm not a homosexual; second, I bet you make out with jars of apple juice every chance you get."

He just smirked at me, "You know it."

"Maybe I should just kick you out," I said returning his smirk.

"I'd just sit outside your window and rap at you until you let me back in."

"I'd just close the window."

"I'd get a mic."

"I'd… okay I lose."

"That's right you lose, Egderp!"

It was then that I heard the doorbell ring.

"That's probably Rose," I said, "She lives a couple houses down, so brace yourself." I headed out of the room Dave close on my heels. I got to the entryway in time to see my dad holding the door open for not one person, but two.

One of them was Rose and the other Jake who seemed to have reappeared from one of his alleged adventures judging by the amount of dirt smeared across his face and arms.

I ran up to Rose and hugged and picked her up off the ground eliciting a squeak of surprise followed by a, "John, could you put me down now?"

I obliged and smiled setting her back down on her feet, "Sorry, I just haven't seen you in _forever_."

"I'm glad to see you too, John."

Jake leaned in and gave me the same maneuver I had just pulled on Rose lifting me up off my feet saying, "Hey little bugger, good to see you old chap! How's school been?" Followed by an intense noogie.

When I finally escape his death grip I grin up at him saying, "Pretty good. Heard you headed off to some deserted Island for a while."

"Yep. It was loads of fun too. Spent most of the time frolicking around and getting beat up by all sorts of bloody critters."

At this point Rose and Jake had made their way into the entry way. Rose leaned around me to get a good look at Dave.

"And you, I suppose, must be Dave Strider," She extended her hand to him, "I'm Rose Lalonde."

"Sup Lalonde," He said not taking her hand but instead cocking his head up at her. She let her arm drop to her side somehow managing to make it not look totally awkward.

"I've heard a lot about you, John talks about you a lot."

"_Rooose_!"

"I'm simply stating fact."

I sighed and said, "So do you guys wanna do anything? We've got a whole bunch of movies, we could hang out outside, there's a park about a block from here."

Dave shrugged, "I'm cool with anything." He paused for a moment and then he looked up suddenly, "Oh shit! I'm supposed to call, Bro."

He rushed back up to my room and I could hear him rummaging around in his bag.

"He seems… interesting," Rose commented.

"Cut out wherever that train of thought is going right now Rose. We do not want your therapy crap right now."

"I'm simply observing."

"So, what do you want to do? Since Dave seems pretty okay with whatever."

Rose paused in thought, "The park sounds lovely."

"Cool."

Dave came running down the stairs phone in hand.

"So what are we doing?" He asked.

"We're heading down to this nice park over by the library."

"Cool." He began dialing his bro's number and then placed the phone up against his ear.

"Hey, bro. Just wanted to let you know that we got here okay and all."

A pause.

"Wait- what? What do you mean? Where are you?"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, okay. Well… I guess I'll see you later? Okay bye."

He hung up.

"So what's going on?" I asked him.

"Sounds like my bro is actually in the area. Apparently he had a job or something in Seattle so he's heading up here pretty soon."

"Oh, that's pretty cool I guess." I said as I pulled on shoes and a hoodie.

Soon enough we were out the door in the cold on the way down to the park, the chilly December wind nipping at our ears and noses. I honestly had no idea how Dave could see with the overcast and his shades, but it was really nice just walking to the park with some friends. And in that moment, I was happy. Dave was happy. Rose was happy. And god do I miss it.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N okay I cannot express just how happy writing this chapter made me. Just so much euphoria! Also if you can't tell from this chapter I have a bit of an obsession with ****The Sixth Sense**** right now because it's a great movie. Watch it. Anyways, enjoy another chapter and feel free to leave feedback!**

I walked down the side of the road with Dave and Rose as it began to snow. The little flakes began to drift gently from the sky. Dave shivered and seemed to regard the flakes, which grew larger and larger by the minute, with genuine curiosity.

"You've never seen snow before?" I asked as the park came into view.

"Nah man. We don't really get snow down in Texas."

I snickered, "I suppose that's a good thing. I'd be a bit worried if you started getting snow in Texas."

The sun sat just above the horizon as we finally reached the little park.

None of the snow was really sticking yet, but it continued to fall thickly enough that I wished I'd grabbed something a bit warmer to wear than just a hoodie. I bet that Dave was freezing his ass off since he was used to a bit warmer weather in general and was in nothing but jeans and a long sleeve shirt. I would have given him my hoodie, but I doubt it would fit him. The snow fell thicker and thicker until a fine layer of the stuff coated the grass and woodchips in the park. Dave and Rose sat on the swings and I swear, they looked just like brother and sister as I climbed my way up to the monkey bars.

"Dude, aren't those going to be slick?" Dave called up to me as I grabbed onto the bar nearest me, it had been far too long since I'd done this.

"Yeah, but I'm not planning on swinging around on them!" I propped my foot up against the railings on either side of the structure and pushed myself up on top of the monkey bars and sat down on top. I ignored the wetness soaking into my jeans, no doubt leaving wet marks all over my rear end. I lay back on the even bars and looked up at the sky, my eyes squinting at the brightness of the sky despite the overcast. I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh. The bars pressed into my back, but I didn't care, it was lovely just to have this space back again. I could feel my nose turning red from the cold as the flakes continued grow in size and in numbers. Soon enough I could feel water seeping through my hoodie. I sat up and blinked. I turned around and jumped down off the bars and into what appeared to be nearly an inch of snow. God, it felt good to be back. It was almost like having elementary school again.

I stood up and grinned with chattering teeth.

"I think it may be beneficial to head into the library," Rose stated as she looked me up and down.

"Y-you're prob-b-bably right," I said through my shivering. Dave and Rose stood up from the swings as we made our way into the warmth of the library. We earned a few odd looks from the librarian since I was sopping wet.

Rose left us to go browse the fantasy aisle as I removed my soaked hoodie, teeth still chattering.

"Dude, Egderp, you're turning fucking purple."

"Huh?" I turned to him still chattering, "Y-yeah? W-well you're n-not much b-better," I said pointing out his shirt which had been soaked through the shoulders.

"I'm not the one shivering and turning seventy shades of blue leopard print."

I looked down at my arms and sure enough, they were blotchy and bluish. When I looked back up Dave wrapped his arms around me rubbing my arm's trying to warm me up, though I continued to shiver.

"Thanks, Dave."

"Don't mention it, I'm always willing to give you a good old fashioned bro embrace."

Eventually my teeth stopped chattering and Rose check out a few weird Wizard novels. I made my way towards the movies section pulling Dave along behind me.

Sure I had an extensive movie collection at home, but the library always offered some fun options. Dave and I looked up and down the shelves. Nothing stuck out in particular.

"See anything you want?" I asked.

He just shrugged and walked further down the aisle looking for a movie he deemed worthy of being watched. Eventually he pulled one off the shelf: _The Sixth Sense_.

"Been meaning to watch this for a while now. Never really got around to it."

I took the movie and walked up to the self-checkout desk and entered in my library card number, (I had memorized it a couple years ago when I accidentally snapped the physical card in half) and scanned in the movie. I'd never seen it either so I glanced at the cover and description. This was definitely bound to be an adventure. I was never really one for thriller or horror or whatever this movie turned out to be so I made a mental note to grab extra blankets and to build a pillow fort or something to cope.

I looked out the library windows to see the snow still plummeting from the sky. Each flake seemed to grow larger than the last as they began to approach the size of golf-balls. I was definitely not looking forwards to walking home in that.

Rose came up next to me, "Are we heading out?"

I sighed, "Yup."

I pulled my arms through my still wet hoodie and opened the door the wall of cold hit me with the force of a train.

We all three started sprinting the block back to my house. By the time we finally arrived I could barely feel my nose and fingers. I swung the door open and we shuffled in, all of us freezing, and slammed the door shut behind us.

"Dad! We're home now!" I called out through chattering teeth.

Jake appeared from around the corner and his jaw dropped at the sight of us sopping wet and covered in slowly melting snow.

"Bloody hell! You were out in that!?"

"Yeah," I said putting the movie down on the entryway table and removing my hoodie. I meandered towards the garage.

"You should have had me come with! Must've been quite the adventure."

I opened the door into our musty garage and tossed my hoodie into the dryer.

"Sure," I replied, "If you like getting soaked to the bone."

"Well, I still bet it was the dog's bollocks. But if that's the case, I'll put a kettle on. You're probably freezing." Jake retreated into the kitchen and I could hear the gas stove being turned on.

"John," Rose called as she opened the front door, "I'll be back in a minute or two I'm going to go find some dry clothes!"

"Okay Rose!" I winked at her, "Tell your mom I said 'hi'!"

She scoffed at me and began to walk the half a block back to her house.

"C'mon Dave," I said waving for him to follow me up the stair. We hurried up to my room and I made my way towards my closet and shuffled about the drawers grabbing the nearest shirt and pants that I could.

Dave unzipped his suitcase and rummaged around for his own shirt, though his pants were in significantly better shape than my own and so he resolved to simply switch shirts. He removed his scratched record shirt and replaced it with some sort of shirt with a red-maroon cog on it. I averted my eyes as I realized I was probably coming off as a little creepy and turned my attention back to my drawer. I pulled a blue shirt with a windy-looking thing on it and pulled on a pair of blue pants. God, so much freaking blue.

There really wasn't much variation in my closet, I owned nearly a dozen of the same shirts and a couple of the same hoodies. The only real difference in my closet was the suit my dad got me for elementary graduation. He'd gotten it nearly four sizes too big saying that "It'll come in handy when you're older."

I was a little upset at the size at the time, but I figured that by the time I finally grew into it I would be in high school, so it may come in handy for some project or other. However, when I found out that I would be attending Hussie Academy I was a little disappointed that the suit would never be used for a Homecoming Dance or Prom since they didn't really hold dances there.

I was snapped from my train of thought by Dave poking me in the shoulder and saying "Dude. Dude. Dude Egbert. Anybody home? Your Dad's calling you."

"Huh? Oh! Yeah." I whipped around and sprinted down the stairs closely followed by Dave. I could smell a cake cooking already and I felt just about ready to puke.

"Egderp, you're turning kinda green."

I nodded and clutched my stomach as the sickly sweet smell of cake clogged up my nostrils.

"Don't hurl on me, man. I don't want to have to change clothes for a third time today."

I chuckled lightly, "I'm not gonna vomit on you. I just can't stand my dad's cakes. They make me nauseous, but I'll be okay."

"What's wrong with cakes? Cakes are fucking delicious."

"Not when they're made from a _Batterwitch_ mix."

"What the fuck is a _Batterwitch_?"

I shuddered and looked up at him widening my eyes and faking dying on the floor, "Betty," I took a gulp for dramatic effect, "Crocker." Then I fell on the floor going completely limp.

Dave smirked at me, "You're afraid of Betty Crocker?"

I stood back up and shook my head, "No, she just turns everything she touches… or puts her brand logo on… to complete shit! I used to love cakes then my dad stopped making them from scratch and fell into the twisted recipes of the _Batterwitch_."

Dave looked close to tears with laughter, or at least I liked to imagine that he would if he didn't always hide behind his stoic mask and shades. I mostly just liked to pretend I could see his eyes and emotions.

At this moment, Rose opened the door again and brushed a bit of snow off of her jacket. She removed it and hung it up on our coat hanger. Now she wore something a bit warmer and overall longer than her earlier t-shirt and short-skirt.

She looked over at me and upon seeing me still turning green and clutching my stomach she smiled sympathetically. She knew my loathing of cakes like no other.

I heard a whistling come from the kitchen followed by Jake calling to me, "Oi! What kind of tea strikes your fancy, chaps?"

Honestly I wanted some hot chocolate pretty badly, but Jake always refused to make "that powdered swill", so I called back, "Do we have any Chai?"

I could hear some cupboards opening and closing followed by an "Ah-Ha!"

"Yes, I found some!"

"Cool, I'd like some of that." I turned to Rose and Dave, "Is that okay with you guys?"

Dave shrugged, "I've never really had tea before, so sure why the hell not?"

"Of course, John. I never really have a preference."

I nodded and grabbed the movie from the entryway table and dragged both Dave and rose up the stairs all the while calling to my dad, "We're gonna watch a movie! What time is dinner gonna be?"

My dad leaned around the corner stirring some yellowish batter and said, "Probably 7:00, I'll call you down in about an hour."

"Cool! Thanks Dad!" I corralled Rose and Dave into my room and shut the door behind us. "Go ahead and make yourselves comfortable," I said gesturing to my bed as I started up my computer.

"Dude, you have so many blankets and pillows it's like you sleep on a fucking cloud of fluffiness," Dave said as he threw himself onto the mass of plush Fosbury flop-style. Rose sat herself down on the opposite side of the bed and mussed about with the pillows until she'd constructed a sufficient backrest and proceeded to lie back allowing her long black skirt to splay out over at least a third of the bed.

As my computer started up and I logged in, I opened the movie case. Once my computer finally started up all the way I inserted the disk into the drive and opened up the file. I grabbed the mouse and joined Rose and Dave on the bed sitting in between them.

I pulled up one of the many pillows from under me and began stacking them on either side of Rose and Dave and draped a blanket over the top creating a sort of canopy over the three of us.

"What the fuck, dude?" Dave said quirking an eyebrow.

"Pillow forts man! They're the best way to watch movies."

He shrugged and we began to settle ourselves into our lovely pillow-fort. Rose leaned her head on my shoulder and I leaned on Dave's, who wrapped his arm around my shoulders and just laid back.

Once we'd adequately settled in I clicked play and the film began. Jake walked in carrying three mugs of chai tea and handed to each of us saying, "Ooh, what's this film? Looks interesting."

He was met by a chorus of "Shoosh!" as we watched the intense scene fold out.

Jake just chuckled and walked out of the room with a "Toodleoo!"

By the time my dad called up for dinner we had all migrated further and further down the bed until we were all slouched to the point at which our heads were locked at 90 degree angles in order to see the screen.

"Dinner's done!" My Dad called.

We all stood up and a chorus of spinal cords popping could be heard. I opened the door and led everyone downstairs to the kitchen when the aroma of Chili and Cornbread hit me. God I missed food like this, Sure Tavros could cook, but it was nothing compared to my Dad's non-pastry comfort foods.

Three sets of plates and bowls sat waiting at the little table in the Kitchen We sat down and scarfed down our meals eagerly with very few words exchanged, though Rose kept glancing between Dave and me with a knowing smirk that was really starting to get on my nerves. She'd probably made some connection or other in her brain that didn't really exist and only served to fulfill her desperate need for psychological analysis.

"So, John," Rose finally said.

"Hmmn?"

"How are your friends at school?"

"They're pretty cool," I stated not knowing where this was going.

"Who would you say your best friend is?"

"Dave," I replied without hesitation.

"I see."

"Where are you going with this?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You always to this psychoanalysis thing every time you ask a question."

"I wouldn't say I _every_ time."

"Most of them."

"We will revisit this topic later, John, just the two of us," Rose smiled in that way that made me dread the coming conversation.

Dave looked between the two of us and just shook his head.

We'd all finished eating in a hurry and climbed the stairs again and resituated ourselves on the bed and resumed the movie.

At the moment we reached the bit with the dead girl I regretted making a pillow-fort. As soon as she appeared in the tent I jumped and shrieked clutching onto Dave for dear life. He just chuckled at me, but I felt him shaking a little. By the end of the movie I was plastered against Dave. As soon as the movie ended and the shell-shock wore off the first thing out of my mouth was, "Holy shit. That was an _amazing_ movie."

"Most definitely," Rose agreed.

Dave nodded, "Fuck yes. Holy shit I did not see that coming."

"We should watch it again," I suggested, "to see if it actually holds up."

Both Rose and Dave nodded and we re-wound the movie to the beginning and watched the entire movie again. By the end I was once again gripping onto Dave and we were all opened mouthed at the flawless execution of the story.

"Holy shit," Dave said, "It totally holds up!"

"That was a brilliant piece of filmography," Rose said standing up and glancing at her watch, "Oh shit! I was supposed to be home an hour ago!" Rose bustled out of the room and down the stairs.

Before she left though she shouted to me, "We'll have that talk tomorrow, John," and then she was out the door.

Now Dave and I were left in the room and I was faced with the dilemma of sleeping situations.

"So…" I began, "I could sleep on the couch and you could sleep in my bed."

Honestly I wasn't looking forwards to sleeping on the couch, but I could deal.

"Nah, I'll sleep there," Dave said.

"But that would make me a terrible host."

"You should get to sleep in your own fucking bed, Egderp. You haven't gotten to in, what's it been, three months?"

"Well, we could share?" I shrugged.

"Oh, you want to be sleeping with The Dave Strider do you Egbert?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

I just laughed and played along, "You know it, _SWOON!_"

Dave smirked at me before opening the door and asking where the bathroom was.

I pointed down the hall and to the left and he left me alone in my room. I changed into a pair of pajamas and walked down to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Yeah, come in," Dave called through a mouth full of toothpaste. Soon enough we were both ready for bed and it was nearly 11:00.

I crawled into bed and Dave crawled in behind me and put his shades on the nightstand next to my strong prescription glasses.

"G'night Dave," I whispered as I scooted closer to the wall.

"Night, Egbert," He replied.

Soon enough we drifted into a lovely sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Okay I'm really sorry this took so long. I had a bunch of random stuff happen including lots of stress and me getting very sick and other crap like that, but hey, I got a chapter for you, with half a plot-point, too! So please enjoy! (I also don't own Homestuck or its Characters those belong to Andrew Hussie)**

* * *

I woke up facing the wall, the bright morning light streaming in my room. My first thought was "Where am I?" The second was "Hallelujah I'm actually home." I rolled over a little surprised at first to see Dave still asleep next to me, though he started to stir since I'd rolled over and accidentally smacked him across the face. He rolled over, instinctually reaching for his shades as I'd seen him do from across the room countless times before.

"What the fuck was that for?" He mumbled rubbing his face where I'd accidentally back-handed him.

"Sorry," I mumbled and sat up reaching over Dave to grab my glasses. I placed them carefully on the bridge of my nose and the world came into focus.

Dave rolled out of the bed freeing me from my position wedged against the wall. He walked out the door towards the bathroom.

I sat up and placed a foot on the carpeted floor and made my way towards the closet. I pulled out a shirt at random. After I chose and put on another generic outfit I wandered out into the hallway and down the stairs.

My dad seemed to have left for work already so I went about the business of searching out some form of food. I dug through the cupboards and eventually stumbled upon a whole cupboard filled with cereals. I pulled out the first box I saw and placed it on the counter and opened the top of the box. When I looked inside it seemed like it might be a few years past its expiration date. It reminded me of a failed science fair project from fourth grade involving all sorts of molds and fungi.

I threw said box into the trash and searched the cupboard, dragging out as many different cereals as possible.

"Wow," Dave walked into the kitchen, "You guys have a shitload of cereal."

I shrugged, "I actually had no idea we had any."

"You people should be like a fucking ad for cereal. 'We could survive the zombie apocalypse on just cereal. Buy two boxes today and get a free shotgun with your purchase.'"

I chuckled, "I suppose we could, that ad would be the greatest, but actually, what do you want for breakfast? As you can see we have just about everything under the sun."

I opened the fridge and grabbed a jug of milk. I checked the fridge again and made a mental note to put apple juice on the grocery list. I set the milk on the counter and retrieved a couple bowls from the cupboard behind me as Dave picked up the box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

We settled down at the little table eating in silence. It was a little weird eating with just Dave. By now I'd grown accustomed to the loud bickering and banter of our friends at meals, not to say that this comfortable quiet wasn't welcome.

My thoughts were interrupted by a ring at the doorbell. I groaned and stood up expecting Rose at the door, she'd been pretty persistent about having that 'talk' yesterday.

I opened the door surprised to see a blond man, probably in his mid-late twenties wearing anime shades like Dave's, standing on our 'welcome' doormat.

"This the Egbert House?"

"Uh, yeah. Are you, uh, Mr. Strider," I said.

"Call me Bro, is Dave here?"

"Yeah, come on in," I beckoned for him to follow me into the kitchen where Dave was loading his bowl into the dishwasher.

I cleared my throat, "Uh, hey, Dave?"

He turned around and his jaw nearly dropped, but his stoic mask only flickered for a split second.

"S'up Bro?" He said, inclining his head.

"S'up lil' man."

I stood there in the doorway to the kitchen somewhat awkwardly, "Um, I'll leave you two alone."

I shuffled my way out of the kitchen. I only caught snippets of the conversation, mostly from Dave. Things like: "What the literal fuck?" or "What do you mean?"

They chatted in the kitchen for about an hour before Bro emerged and headed directly out the door, face unreadable.

Dave stood leaning with his back against the counter aloofly, though his hands shook as he adjusted his shades.

"So?" I inquired.

"Nothing important," He replied, but his facade of indifference seemed a bit fractured, his mouth turned down in a frown, brow furrowed in concern.

"You sure?"

"Yeah man. No worries. I'm cool. I'm so cool I'm a fucking Mr. Cucumber. All the other vegetables get down on their hands and knees bowing and groveling at me and my fucking coolness all like 'well shit this guy's so cool, he's a fucking cucumber with his coolness.'"

"Okay I get it, you're cool."

"That's right I'm cool. I'm Mr. Cool."

"But actually, do you want to do anything in particular today? We don't really have anything planned."

"I don't care, also didn't Rose say she wanted to talk to you?"

I heaved a sigh, "Don't remind me. She's probably going to end up picking my brain for some random subconscious crap."

"She seemed pretty cool to me," Dave shrugged.

"Don't get me wrong I love her to pieces, but being on the receiving end of her therapist antics is not always a pleasant experience."

There was a knock at the door.

"Damn it," I muttered under my breath as I headed to get the door for the second time today.

I opened it to reveal Rose. Though I found her therapy thing annoying, it was nice to have such a close friend who you could talk to when the going got rough.

"Hello, John," She said stepping in and hanging up her coat on the coat hanger in the corner of the room and kicking off her shoes in the general direction of the coat hanger.

"Hey, Rose," I closed the door behind her.

"John, if you recall, I wished to have a quick conversation with you."

"Yeah. I remember. Can we get that out of the way? It's a snow day, so we're going sledding."

Rose let herself into the study in the back room and sat down on the floor gesturing for me to do the same.

"So, John. How do you feel about Dave?"

"He's pretty great, I mean, I told you yesterday, he's my best friend. Where are you going with this?"

"Just wait, All in due time. So what do you know about him?"

"Um... I don't know, he's a pretty cool guy. He does music mixing, he's all about irony and he's self-conscious about his eyes."

"What do you know about his personality and temperament?"

I shrugged, "He's pretty cool and stoic."

"Do you know why?"

"No, that's just how he is."

"Why do you think he is that way?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Well, what do you think he's hiding, because it seems to me that he hides behind his shades and stoicism."

"I don't know. You don't think he's abused or anything do you?"

"No, I don't think so, but he is hiding something, and it may not be a bad thing, what he's hiding I mean. So let me ask you again: how do you feel about Dave?"

"He's my best friend. I still don't know what the point of this conversation is."

"Well, last night you seemed incredibly, how should I put this? Clingy."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Where are you going with this?"

"Are you certain that your... Affection... For him doesn't run a little deeper?"

"Meaning?"

"Do you like him?"

"Well, yeah, he's my friend."

"You are so oblivious. I didn't mean it like that. Do you find yourself attracted to him in more than what would be considered platonic?"

"Oh. Uh, Rose, maybe you forgot, but I'm not gay."

"I never said you were, but you never did answer the question."

"What does it matter?"

"I am simply interested in your change in behavior."

I leaned forward in confusion, "What change in behavior?"

"Well for one thing, you've never watched any sort of horror film, even when I begged you, you've also never really told me to lay off the therapy thing on any of your other friends, and you never wake up earlier than eleven of your own volition either, though I'm not sure whether or not that's relevant to the topic at hand."

I thought about it for a moment. I mostly pinned these behaviors on me growing up, it made sense that I'd try a horror film at some point, but the fact that I told her to ease up on the therapy got me thinking about why I did that.

"You don't have to answer the question if you don't want to, I was simply curious," She said, snapping me out of my train of thought. I didn't think I liked Dave like that, even if I definitely did I was _way_ too young to do anything about it yet.

Rose stood up and walked out of the study and into the living room.

"In the meantime," she went on, "It's a snow day!"

I broke into a grin and called to Dave, wherever he was, "Dave! Grab a coat and extra pair of pants! We're going sledding!"

Dave emerged from my room, to which he'd apparently retreated while rose had pulled me away, "I don't _have_ any warm coats, Egderp."

I ran up the stairs, "Here, just borrow one of mine."

I opened my closet and searched for the biggest Jacket I could find.

I removed a puffy black coat and handed it to him hoping it would fit him. He put one arm through a sleeve and I was happy to see that it fit him quite nicely. He then pulled on another pair of pants over his regular gray skinny-jeans.

I dug through my closet in search of my own winter jacket, the one with the obnoxiously large hood, and an extra pair of pants. Once we bundled up I sprinted down the stairs to the garage where I grabbed our two sleds and the keys to the front door with Rose and Dave following close behind.

We headed out the door towards the big hill on the other side of the neighborhood.

I stepped out onto the perfect snow. My foot sunk a good solid 6 inches into the snow with a satisfying _crunch!_

I could feel the bottom of my jeans getting soaked already. We trudged through the snow one step at a time.

Once we finally reached the base of the hill we were all breathing heavily.

"Tell me you're not going to make me walk up this fucking hill, Egbert," Dave said looking up the huge mound in the earth.

I smirked, "And bingo was his name-o."

Dave grimaced and we began the long haul up the hill.

When we finally reached the top I collapsed, laying down in the snow, in utter exhaustion. I instinctually began to wave my arms and legs making a snow angel at the top of the hill.

"Dude, Egdork, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Snow angels!"

"What the fuck?"

"Come on, Dave! Snow angels are great!"

"What the fuck? Snow is just like fucking chilly shit like fucking mayonnaise, like why would you lay down and flail around in this shit?"

"Dave it's just frozen water, now stop being a cool-kid and make some snow angels."

"I thought we were sledding, John," Rose piped up whilst picking up one of the sleds.

"Yeah, but we don't have to do that exclusively."

Rose Shrugged and mounted the sled, pushing her way down the hill, her pink waist-scarf-thing trailing out behind her. Seriously though, what the fuck was that thing and why wear it around your waist?

As she reached the bottom and began the hike back up the hill, I turned to see Dave charging forwards, sled in hand. He threw it forwards and launched himself onto it almost like you might see in an anime or cartoon or something. He picked up speed and slid down the hill. He must've been going twenty miles per hour at least. And I was left at the top of the hill. Sled-less.

As Dave stood up from his ride I reached down into the cold blanket of snow, crunching it together into a relatively compact ball. Dave and Rose began hiking back up the hill, sleds in haul.

Once they made it within throwing distance I chucked the snowball, hitting Dave square in the chest causing him to stumble and fall backwards.

He did some fancy backwards roll and came up to a standing position once again in one fluid motion. I stood with my mouth agape as he leaned down to pick up his sled and continued on his way up the hill.

Once he reached the top I grabbed the sled from him, but not without finding Dave's hand, filled with snow, rubbing all over my face.

I sputtered shaking the snow from my, now freezing, face. Dave burst out laughing.

"Hey!" I shouted at Dave, though it was more out of surprise than anger.

"I'm just getting you back."

"No white-washing!" I whined as I set the sled down on the snow and hopped aboard as Dave continued to laugh at my misfortune.

I kicked off, my nose still tingling from the cold, and began speeding down the hill, the wind whipping my cheeks, feeling as if I could fly.

My sled slowed to a stop. I stood up as Rose came down the hill again, a smile plastered to her face. It'd been a while since I'd seen Rose genuinely smile. What is it with me and having friends who don't really smile? As Rose reached the bottom she let out an alarmed squeal as she almost ran down a girl walking up the hill. Rose shouted over her shoulder, "Sorry!"

The girl simply smiled, shook her head, and continued up the hill.

Rose jumped off the sled and hurried up the hill to catch up with me. Once at the top of the hill Dave took Rose's sled and sped down the hill with me racing close behind. The girl Rose had nearly run into sat on a bench at the bus stop at the crest of the hill and Rose seemed to be apologizing for almost hitting her.

Forgetting the fact that I was currently plummeting down a hill on a sled, I looked up in time to see Dave coke to a halt and barrel right into him at break-neck speed. We both flew forwards a few feet landing in each other's laps laughing.

Once we ended our laughing fits we began to trudge back up the hill.

Rose still stood chatting with the nameless victim of snow-crazed teens when she gestured for me to come over. I made my way towards the bench.

"John, this is Kanaya. She apparently recently moved here from England. She actually lives a couple houses down from yours."

I stuck out my hand, "Nice to meet you, Kanaya. I'm John," she took my hand and shook it politely saying, "How do you do, John?"

I smiled in response and gestured to Dave who had picked up both the sleds and was walking over to where we stood around the bench, "This is Dave."

He inclined his head, "S'up."

Kanaya smiled again warmly, "Nice to meet you all."

Rose cleared her throat, "I was thinking that maybe Kanaya could join us for another 'fun-filled' day at the Egbert household."

I grinned, "The more the merrier."

Kanaya stood up from the bench, "that's very kind of you, I hope I'm not a bother."

"Of course not," I replied.

"I take it we're done with these sledding shenanigans?" Dave said.

"Yeah, I'd kinda like to warm up my face after you white-washed me anyways." I took one of the sleds from Dave and took one last ride down the hill. We began the walk back to the house.

I opened the door to the garage stomping my shoes out and leaving them out to dry, indicating for Dave, Rose, and Kanaya to do the same. As soon as we all made it through the door Jake emerged from the upstairs hallway in nothing but an undershirt and a pair of boxers. I swear, he was a later sleeper that me! And that's saying something.

He rubbed his eyes as he descended the stairs saying, "Blimey, you're all up and about already?" When he reached the bottom his eyes widened as he saw Kanaya. He looked down at himself and chuckled sheepishly, "Oh. Um, Sorry. I'll- um, be just a moment."

He ran back up the stairs into his room.

I led Dave, Rose, and Kanaya into the living room where we all sat down on the couch in exhaustion. It was barely noon and we were worn out.

Jake came down the stairs, now in a pair of khakis and a green button-front.

"So, who's your friend?" He asked nodding at Kanaya.

"This is Kanaya," Rose answered, "I almost hit her while we were sledding."

Kanaya let out a soft chuckle, "Yes," She added, "It was all rather exciting. Rose came to apologize and then conversation struck up and, well, here we are."

"She also moved in down the street," I chimed in.

Jake walked up to Kanaya, hand extended, "Nice to make your acquaintance Kanaya. I'm Jake, Jake English."

"Nice to meet you Mr. English," Kanaya said shaking his hand.

Jake chuckled, "Just Jake please. 'Mr. English' makes me feel old."

"Of course, Jake."

I clapped my hands together, "Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, what do you guys feel like doing?"

We all looked at each other awkwardly for a bit.

"If Jake would be willing to join I could head back to my house and bring a fun game," Rose suggested.

"What game?" I asked.

Rose smirked, "Telestrations."

A world of hilarious memories flooded my mind as I remembered past times when Rose and I had played Telestrations and nearly laughed ourselves to death.

"Absolutely!" I exclaimed. Rose stood up and put her shoes back on, heading out the door to her house.

Dave looked at me through his shades, "What's 'Telestrations'?"

"Indeed," Kanaya added.

I looked at them both with an excited smile plastered to my face, "The greatest game you will ever play."

"Yeah, but what is the point of the game, derp?"

"It's basically telephone with pictures."

Kanaya grinned, "This could be very interesting."

"It'll be more than interesting," I said.

Rose walked through the door with the blue box clutched to her chest. She removed her shoes again and set the game down in the middle of the group. She looked up at us and gestured to the game saying, "Shall we?"


End file.
